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Practicing for the AFMAA: Why did you choose the Accounting and Financial Management?


ludus 1 / 2  
Mar 13, 2011   #1
Hi!

I'm doing some practice essays, just kind of drilling myself to prepare for the AFMAA, a two-hour, three essay writing assessment to get into my program of choice.

Any help editing would be much appreciated!

Question: Why did you choose the Accounting and Financial Management program?

When I began my high school career at __________ Memorial Secondary School, I knew that the business field was somewhere that I wanted to go. Bottom-line deals, boardroom meetings with potential investors, creating a report to the present to the CEO of the company were all exciting situations that I could see myself in. However, as time went on and I learned more about the business world through my teachers, I realized that those same situations I had imagined before would not be an everyday occurrence for a businessperson. Rather, it was more common for someone who dealt in the finance sector, which changed my views about a potential job.

Money has always been something that has fascinated me. Is it true that money makes the world go round? What is it about this collection of little green paper bills that makes some people so worried, and others so happy? The idea of money is very interesting to me, and that is why I have chose to pursue a career in finance, and my role as the vice-president of my school's "Student Investment Club" has helped solidify that goal. The University of Waterloo's Accounting and Financial Management Program would really allow me to gain a much stronger understanding of the world of finance, and ultimately allow me to reach my dream goal.

However, many universities have business programs or even specified accounting programs, so why choose Waterloo? As old and as cliche as this may sound, it was Waterloo's co-op option that brought me to rank Waterloo as a my first choice. The sheer amount of possibilities of work, ranging from KPMG to BMW, with top-name companies all around the world really allows a student to understand the business level at a deeper level. A student can experience for themselves what it is like to work as an accountant or financial analyst, rather than listening to a guest speaker coming in and glorifying the job title. In addition, the co-op option would also allow a student to gain many different contacts that they can call upon, as well as exercise his social and soft skills. Finally, the co-op terms are taken during the school study year, allowing the student to take time off during the summer and still complete their degree with a headstart into the real world.

My final reason for choose Waterloo is somewhat of personal dream. After I came to Canada and settled down with friends, I was surprised that my friends received something called an "allowance". The very idea that a parent would pay their own children flabbergasted me. A few years later, the U.S economy would be hit with the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, and just a few semesters later, I would learn about the causes of the Great Depression in my History class. The sequence of events had no importance to me at the time, but as I reflect back on it, I realized that financial literacy was a big problem in the world. As Canada is now pulling through a recovery stage, there are many interviews on the radio discussing the ever-growing problem of financial literacy, and its effects even now on Canadians. Though it is a big feat to say the least, I hope that by attending Waterloo and gaining experience into the field of financial management, I can one day make a difference, and teach the world to become more financially literate.

Just some background info: The AFMAA is a 2 hour evaluation, in which you must write three essays, all somewhat related to this one. When I am practicing, I usually try to aim for about half an hour per essay, and this is what I came out with, so please excuse me if I don't have a conclusion paragraph, haha

Again, any help/feedback/comments would be appreciated!
plittplatt11 5 / 29  
Mar 13, 2011   #2
This is pretty good! In your first paragraph I think you meant to say "creating a report to present to the CEO of a company..." but that's just nit-picking :)

Your first paragraph seems kind of forced. The sentences don't flow that well, try working on some transistion phrases and words and you'll be set with that!

Your organization is great! The use of history to back your purpose adds another level to the essay. I know that you are pressed for time but it is REALLY important that you get a concluding paragraph in there, so work on alotting yourself enough time to include one! All in all, I think you are set!

Feel free to edit mine!?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 17, 2011   #3
I think the word "that" should be taken out of the first sentence.

Also...
Bottom-line deals, boardroom meetings with potential investors, and creating a report to the present to the CEO of the company were all exciting situations in which I could see myself.

...would not be an everyday occurrences for a businessperson. ---You have a very impressive writing style! Just a few errors here and there...

Though it is a big feat to say the least, I hope that by attending Waterloo and gaining experience into in the field of financial management, I can one day make a difference, and teach the world to become more financially literate.

:-) nice!!
OP ludus 1 / 2  
Mar 17, 2011   #4
Thank you so much about my writing style! It really means a lot after my 82 in English deflated my writing spirit...

At least, I hope you mean it, haha


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