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"pre-destined to pursuing a career in medicine" - Why I want to be a doctor?


sudaflower24 1 / 2  
Dec 25, 2010   #1
Explain why you are interested in pursuing a career in medicine. Describe any life experiences that may have sparked this interest as well as any personal attributes that make you especially suited for a medical career.

At a young age I had felt as though I was pre-destined to pursuing a career in medicine. Relatives and friends had high expectations of me because my father is a physician and they expected me to do the same. Growing up, I felt the pressure and the burden on my shoulders. Although I wanted a career in helping others, at such a tender age, I lacked the strong passion that I would need to pursue such a career.

However, the inspiration came by surprise one morning. A strange phone call from Sudan, at 1:00 a.m. had brought with it bad news. As I ran down stairs, I heard my father's voice on the phone. My mother's cousin had passed away in childbirth.

As I sat next to my mother, comforting her, she recalled her own mother's death in childbirth. I began to weep, feeling the burden and grief my mother was enduring. A flashback to that tragic day when my family and I visited Sudan suddenly appeared. On my last visit to Sudan, I discovered many things about my family's past. As I sat with relatives, they recalled back to the days when my grandmother and many other female relatives lost their lives to maternal mortality.

That morning, sitting next to my mother, I realized that yet another similar event had just taken place and nothing was being done to stop it. For the next couple of days, I began to research maternal mortality in Sudan; the issue had been plaguing my mind. The statistics were baffling and the reasons were simply outrageous. Such tragedies were occurring due to the lack of skilled medical personnel and the lack of care and resources at births. That was the moment when I realized that something had to be done with such a continuous problem. At that moment in my life, I realized my strong desire to pursue medicine.

Now, I hope to one day become an obstetrician/ gynecologist so that I can go out into the world and help save lives of those suffering.

Realizing that an international issue, such as maternal mortality, was influencing my personal life, was all I needed to jumpstart my long-term goals towards pursuing medicine and becoming a physician in obstetrics and gynecology. I am fortunate enough to be provided with an American education, which will give me the chance to one-day accomplish such high goals. Not only do I wish to become a part of reviving the Health Care system in America, but also to become a part of the global health initiative in reviving the Health Care system for thousands of women in Sudan. I have chosen to apply to the University Scholars Program in Medicine at Washington University in St. Louis because I believe that I have the compassion, aptitude, integrity, motivation, and commitment to my community and the global community suitable for a career in medicine. The University Scholars Program in Medicine will surely provide me with the right tools and environment to flourish, and, I, as a diverse individual, will contribute my ideas and my experiences to provide a great asset to the multifaceted community at Washington University in St. Louis.
Ngozi93 3 / 30  
Dec 26, 2010   #2
i love the story but i think you should explain more in detail about the event (sudan) in like a stroy form or some sort and in the end describe how it further your drive to want to become a doctor. Also in the beginning I feel as though is cliche because it seems like words I've read before. Just start off your story with the sentence a strang phone call...thus immediately grabbing the reader's attention. Also if you can elaborate more on either your visit to sudan or your mother telling you about your grandmother's death in childbirth. Simply I would go with your mother telling you the news and how you felt at time. By the way I love the ending.

A strange phone call from Sudan, at 1:00 a.m. had brought with it bad news. As I ran down stairs, I heard my father's voice on the phone. My mother's cousin had passed away in childbirth.

As I sat next to my mother, comforting her, she recalled her own mother's death in childbirth. I began to weep, feeling the burden and grief my mother was enduring. ( simply elaborate more on your emotions and how you felt at the time) For the next couple of days, I began to research maternal mortality in Sudan; the issue had been plaguing my mind. The statistics were baffling and the reasons were simply outrageous. ( Simply describe more in detail about you reading the information you found on sudan. For instance descrie how it made you upset and how somehow it further your drive to want to become a doctor)
OP sudaflower24 1 / 2  
Dec 26, 2010   #3
Thank you so much for your advice. Greatly appreciate it. SO should I basically delete the first paragraph? It would make it better right?
atham64 4 / 12  
Dec 26, 2010   #4
great essay. teared up. but need to relate that experience to why you want to be a doctor. how those experience made you change and how other experiences reinforce your decision to be a doctor
OP sudaflower24 1 / 2  
Dec 26, 2010   #5
Aww thank you atham but what do you mean by relate it to why I want to be a doctor? how? can you give me an example please? Thank you.
Ngozi93 3 / 30  
Dec 30, 2010   #6
yes you should delete the first paragraph and It would make it better


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