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"my preferred type of learning and community" - Why University of Chicago?


MirayPhilips 5 / 37  
Dec 11, 2010   #1
How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago. (Two paragraphs)

I need to send this in by tomorrow! Please comment on it and edit any mistakes. I appreciate constructive criticism.

I first visited Chicago last summer, and only naturally, I was attracted to the university because of the city's beautiful scenery, captivating history, neo-gothic buildings and definitely its people. I was absolutely baffled and I so casually thought to myself that I wanted to go to University of Chicago, not fully aware of how prestigious it actually is. However, when I went back to Kuwait, I started researching the University of Chicago and I was completely captivated by its reputation. University of Chicago is not just prestigious and in a beautiful city, it is far beyond that and President Robert J. Zimmer proves that by saying, "We must ensure that our scholarly community is composed of a rich mix of individuals who, through their own distinctive viewpoints, contribute to the intellectually challenging culture of the University." As a person who challenges almost every idea or concept presented by a teacher or my parents, and whose conversations are almost always debates, the president's quote was extremely enthralling. I believe that the University of Chicago strives to create a society where individuals learn by being encouraged to speak their minds and transform rules into theories, and this is how I want to learn. I do not want to be spoon-fed information but rather research it, discuss it, experience it and then learn it and use it to grow in my field of study. Honestly, I think University of Chicago is one of the very few universities that encourage this type of learning.

As I grew up in an Islamic country, I was discriminated against as a youngster because I was Christian. I am aware that University of Chicago is very diverse and the mere fact that it refused to prejudice against black people and Jews at a time where this was normal, shows how this university is strict on diversity and equality and this is extremely essential to me. Although I come from a very small school, my school consisted of about 50 different nationalities and I cannot imagine carrying on my education in a place where diversity is not as important to the university as it is to me. Another quality in University of Chicago that has attracted me is the fact that it has small classes, and it is a relatively small university which means that students do not dissolve in the community but instead, all of them stand out in their own unique ways.

Overall, University of Chicago definitely satisfies my preferred type of learning and community and I really hope I can be part of their student body to think and strive and become an important and unique member in my community.

Thank you!
OP MirayPhilips 5 / 37  
Dec 12, 2010   #2
Can someone please help :)
Oleh 5 / 33  
Dec 12, 2010   #3
Honestly(W/c), I think University of Chicago is one of the very few universities that encourage this type of learning - since u r focusing on Univ. of Chicago, i think you should just say that it is the only school that represents the learning technique fully.

discriminated against as a youngster because I was Christian - "youngster" is not a very professional word...maybe just stick with "child" and doesn't fit with your serious tone

This response showed how much you took your time to research this school and that you are really interested in going...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 19, 2010   #5
I was absolutely baffled, and I so casually thought to myself that I wanted to go to University of Chicago, not fully aware of how prestigious it actually was .

Don't use too many adverbs... adverbs are evil:
... was extremely enthralling. ---adverbs suck the life out of your writing.

I believe that the University of Chicago strives to create a society where ...Honestly, I think University of Chicago is one of the very few universities that encourage this type of learning.---is there any truth to this? Is this school unique with regard to this type of learning, or are you just saying that it is? If it is really true, tell me what it is that makes it true. Is it the theme expressed on the website? Is it the atmosphere as YOU perceiveit? Be specific, and tell what makes the school better than others for YOU.

I like the way you wrote most of this! It has sincerity and clarity. I think, though, that you should focus more on your plan. I hope you wake up thinking about your career options and gto to sleep thinking about your career options. I hope you revise the essay to show how much thought you put into your career options.

:-)
OP MirayPhilips 5 / 37  
Dec 19, 2010   #6
Thank you for the edit Kevin! Too bad I've already sent this. :(


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