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"prejudice or bias towards another group of people" Short Villanova Essay


mhjohnson05 3 / 4  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Whether we realize it or not, most people in this world hold some form of prejudice or bias towards another group of people. In reality, it's natural to have qualms about people who are different from us. Sometimes we don't even know why we have these opinions. From a young age, our minds are constantly being molded by stories we hear and social media that surrounds us. Being exposed to this easily affects the way we think, while shaping the view we have of others. When you prematurely judge another person, you don't define them, you define yourself.

I always had trouble warming up to people, especially with those who imposed a language barrier. I felt like I could not connect with them on a personal level. This was prevalent this past summer, when a teammate of mine named Pavel arrived from Russia and needed a place to stay prior to the season. He knew very little English and was in America alone, so my parents volunteered to take him in until he got situated and found an apartment. I was apprehensive about meeting Pavel because we were from extremely contrasting backgrounds. After all, I had lived all my life in suburban Middletown, New Jersey, while he grew up in Moscow and moved around to a handful of European countries.

Sharing a home with him for a month was eye-opening. Pavel had never experienced things that were second nature to me. Before coming to the states, he had never been on a rollercoaster, swam in the ocean, or drank a slurpee. I was astonished by the amount of simple things that he never encountered, but I also envied his simple lifestyle of school and hockey. In that month, his English speaking skills improved tremendously. I grew so accustomed to him that I now know what he's trying to say even when he uses the wrong word. Undoubtedly, Pavel is now my best friend and our connection translates to the ice.

There are many lessons I have learned from my relationship with Pavel that would be valuable to others. Before we grew to be close friends, he showed me that you shouldn't let an uncomfortable situation affect the decisions you make. Undeniably, I thought he was insane for coming to play hockey in America alone and being handicapped in the English language, but he never got overwhelmed. Looking back, he showed me that anything can work out for the best if you work as hard as he has. Most notably, he taught me that you should never form an opinion about someone before you take the time to know them on a personal level. If you judge someone on the way they look, the language they speak, or where they are from, you're selling yourself short on the chance to meet someone worthwhile. There may be a social hurdle that exists or a language obstacle to overcome, but putting in the time to get beyond it is the only way to see who they truly are. From my experiences living with Pavel and our continued friendship today, I have learned that you should never overlook someone because they are different. You just might be surprised at what you find.
aiswim 4 / 28  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
I like this essay. Very well written.

"but he never became overwhelmed."

Good topic too.

Please help me with my Tufts essay!
OP mhjohnson05 3 / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
thankyou. i appreciate any constructive criticism since the essay will make or break me for villanova. my grades and act scores aren't exactly what they want.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 12, 2011   #4
This is a kind of run on sentence called a "comma splice."
When you prematurely judge another person, you don't define them, you define yourself.
You should fix it with a semi-colon:
When you prematurely judge another person, you don't define them; you define yourself.

Your writing is great! That first para is a little too simplistic in its theme, though. I think you can add one more sentence to that first para to make it better. I think COURAGE is an important theme in this essay, because you need to have courage to avoid letting uncertainty and complexity make you prejudge people.

I think you write very well! You vary your sentence length, write with correct grammar, and it is very rhythmic and clear.


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