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"Prejudice is at the heart of misunderstanding." - Common App Essay


twixster 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

My senior religion teacher always preached to us that prejudice was at the heart of all misunderstanding. I always truly believed that I lacked any real prejudices until an unlikely man changed my perspective on life. After ice hockey practice one evening I walked over to a fast food restaurant across the street. It was a little after eight pm and the sun had already set. I ordered my food and being the only customer there I chose a spot in the corner adjacent to the entrance.

About halfway through my meal I noticed a man enter and quickly dart towards the restrooms. I immediately subconsciously stereotyped him. He was an African American man in his early fifties wearing raggedy clothing. He had to have been homeless. He had rushed because he feared being noticed and subsequently kicked out of the restaurant by the employees. During the five minutes he was in the restroom I resolved to approach the man when he exited and offer to buy him whatever he wanted on the menu. I didn't want to give him cash because I was afraid he would use it for alcohol or drugs. It would be my "good deed of the day" and I would feel good about myself.

When he exited I walked over. He was certain that I was going to tell him to leave and so he quickened his pace. I called out to him and he stopped. I asked him if he was hungry and put forth my proposition. He hesitantly agreed, unsure if there were any strings attached. As we approached, the cashier gave him a scornful look and did a double take. The cashier asked if we were ready to order and despite me telling the man that he could order whatever he liked, he asked if he "could please" have this or that. I told him of course and after placing his order I sat down at a table with him.

He seemed very kind and I asked him a very blunt question; how had he become homeless? I had been certain that it was the result of some wrongdoing on his part. Perhaps alcohol or drug addiction had caused him to lose his way. But as his story unraveled in that ten minutes I realized that I had misjudged him, I had been prejudiced. The man had been drafted to Vietnam prior to having the opportunity to attend college. During the war he was afflicted with post traumatic stress disorder and it had haunted him his whole life. As a result of his PTSD he had a hard time focusing on tasks and especially holding a job. He had exhausted his resources and having no immediate family members left, he took to the streets.

When his food arrived the conversation drew to a close and we parted. On the drive home I couldn't help but think that he was really the one who had given me something. I had paid for his food but he had taught me inadvertently that he was more than what he revealed on the surface. He was not a drug addict but a victim of war. I had been prejudice and if I had not taken the opportunity to talk to him I would never have discovered the truth. Prejudice is at the heart of misunderstanding.
ncornelison - / 1  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
twixster

My senior religion teacher always preached to us this wise saying:" prejudice is at the heart of all misunderstanding." I have always truly believed that I lacked any real prejudices until an unlikely man changed my perspective on life. After ice hockey practice one evening I walked over to a fast food restaurant across the street. It was a little after eight pm and the sun had already set. I ordered my food and being the only customer there I chose a spot in the corner adjacent to the entrance.

About halfway through my meal I noticed a man enter and quickly dart towards the restrooms. I immediately and subconsciously stereotyped him. He was an African American man in his early fifties wearing raggedy clothing. He had to have been homeless. He had rushed because he feared being noticed and subsequently kicked out of the restaurant by the employees. During the five minutes he was in the restroom I resolved to approach the man when he exited and offer to buy him whatever he wanted on the menu. I didn't want to give him cash because I was afraid he would use it for alcohol or drugs. It would be my "good deed of the day" and I would feel good about myself--This sounds a bit redundant, but I see what youre saying. .

When he exited I walked over. He was certain that I was going to tell him to leave and so he quickened his pace. I called out to him and he stopped. I asked him if he was hungry and put forth my proposition. He hesitantly agreed, unsure if there were any strings attached. As we approached, the cashier gave him a scornful look and did a double take. The cashier asked if we were ready to order and despite me telling the man that he could order whatever he liked, he asked if he "could please" have this or that. I told him of course and after placing his order I sat down at a table with him.

He seemed very kind and I asked him a very blunt question; how had he become homeless? I had been certain that it was the result of some wrongdoing on his part. Perhaps alcohol or drug addiction had caused him to lose his way. But as his story unraveled in that ten minutes, I realized that I had misjudged him; I had been prejudiced. The man had been drafted to Vietnam prior to having the opportunity to attend college. During the war he was afflicted with post traumatic stress disorder and it had haunted him his whole life. As a result of his PTSD he had a hard time focusing on tasks and especially holding a job. He had exhausted his resources and having no immediate family members left, he took to the streets.

When his food arrived the conversation drew to a close and we parted. On the drive home I couldn't help but think that he was really the one who had given me something. I had paid for his food but he had taught me inadvertently that he was more than what he revealed on the surface. He was not a drug addict, but a victim of war. I had been prejudice and if I had not taken the opportunity to talk to him I would never have discovered the truth. Prejudice is at the heart of misunderstanding.

I am not a 100percent sure that my corrections are the best. Really, give it another look, my corrections could be wrong. Hopefully they'll help you! Your essay is good. This encounter is a good experience and im sure colleges will love to hear it. Also, im not sure but it looks like some commas are missing?
OP twixster 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
Thanks for the quick response I will consider the changes.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 6, 2010   #4
When I read that first paragraph, I think that you should move everything after this into paragraph 2:
After ice hockey practice one evening...

I think paragraph 2 should introduce the story, and paragraph 1 should consist of:
My senior religion teacher always preached to us that prejudice was at the heart of all misunderstanding. I always truly believed that I lacked any real prejudices until an unlikely man changed my perspective on life. (add two more sentences to capture powerfully your main theme, the central truth of the story.)

:-)


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