This is my first draft so I want to know what people think about it. Thank you.
Prompt: Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.
Considering my hectic schedule during the school year, some people might believe that I would use my summers to take a break and rest before plunging back into another busy year of high school. I would consider that to be a waste. To me, summer is a time that I can do all of the things that I could not fit into the school year.
The summer after my sophomore year in high school was horrible. I was without a license which meant that I, living on a ranch outside of town, was basically stuck at home. I tried to make the best of it by keeping the house clean and earning some brownie points with my parents. Half way through the summer I got a job with the local Parks and Recreation department, which earned me a bit of money and forced my dad to give me rides into town. Still, as a person who is not satisfied unless I have absolutely no free time, I felt the need to be doing so much more and I vowed to never let a summer be wasted like that again.
This past summer, I stuck to my promise. I had my driver's license, I had my car, and I felt free as a bird. Being a firm believer in the phrase "work hard, play hard", I took two public speaking classes at the local community college and I continued to work with the Parks and Recreation department, but I made sure I was still able to go to the beach and hang out with my friends. I drove all over California, from Los Angeles to visit family, to Kernville to visit friends, to Tehachapi where I washed dishes at Woodward West skateboard camp in order to earn my stay. I even got out of California for the first time in eight years and visited my sister in Austin, Texas where I went to museums and famous dance halls and learned a lot more about what this country has to offer. I made sure that my summer "break" was extremely well spent. I visited colleges, saved up money and bought a bike, floated down rivers, played volleyball, met new people, saw new places, and created many great memories that I will not soon forget. Next summer my goal is to do even more.
...and forced my dad to have to give me rides into town.
...vowed never to let a summer be wasted like that again.
You should make the following sentence into two.
Being a firm believer in the phrase "work hard, play hard", I took two public speaking classes at the local community college and I continued to work with the Parks and Recreation department./
butI also made sure I was still able to go to the beach and hang out with my friends.
This is really great, you're an excellent writer. Very interesting all the way through, and it shows you not only don't waste time, but you waste no words either!
