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'No problem refusing drugs' (significant experience) Common App


hcdaniel93 2 / 2  
Sep 29, 2011   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I live in San Jose and when I moved here in sixth grade, I could feel a warm, educational,
and safe learning envivornment. I was oblivious to the corruption around me. I was a naïve
middle schooler not suspecting that the people around me use or have been exposed to drugs.
But as I grew up I started noticing things. I noticed many students coming to school with blood
shot eyes and a sway in their step. I noticed kids bringing brownies and other baked goods that
those kids normally would not bother baking. I realized then that my school was full of drug
addicts and alcaholics. Originally I have witnessed some students smoking openly in the park
but there never were many students. Now I see that a vast majority of students use or have
been offered drugs. I have been recently offered drugs such as beer and chewing tobbaco, but
unlike many curious highschoolers, I was quick to refuse. Because of my lack of experience with
drugs, I had no interest in trying them. These offers to do drugs and my refusal to do them
showed me that it was good that I had grown up not exposed and oblivious to drugs. This led to
my lack of inerest in drugs and I realize that drugs will not be an issue in the future. If I am able
to refuse drugs as a highschooler, when I am at the peak of my curiosity, I will definatly not
have a problem refusing drugs when I am older and more responsible.
trishhha 8 / 23  
Sep 29, 2011   #2
check your spelling errors! alcoholics* and definitely*

also, try to incorporate a specific story of one of those instances. colleges like anecdotes so maybe you can go more into detail about one of those instances where you were first in a situation such as seeing someone openly involved in drugs. Also, show its impact on you rather than stating that you will not fall under the influence.

Goodluck!
hixtine 4 / 9  
Oct 1, 2011   #3
I live in San Jose and when I moved here in sixth grade, I could feel a warm, educational,
and safe learning environment.

This sentence can be tightened.
Consider sentence variations, a lot of your sentences begin with "I".
I agree with trishha about a specific story. Also, it might help to tie it to a bigger picture such as: how has refusing drugs impacted you as a person, how can you use your experiences to help others?


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