Please I need a lot of help. I really need help on someone reading my essay. I'm lost and I don't know what to write. The essay below is not finished because I'm unsure whether I included what I needed in there. Thank you so, so much for the help. Be very critical I really want to hear your suggestion. :)
I look at my slice of paper. Its emptiness dumbfounded me. Despite it being simple, a paper exemplifies the quality of me. I am proud to know that my ancestors have made this ingenious invention. Yet I am deeply troubled by the versatility of this very gift. My slice of paper can be a scientific paper, a drawing, or a script. What should I do? She answered me.
She and I are very different, although we occupy the same being. She is the intellectual, the perfectionist, who only cares about her grades. The letters and the numbers are her driving forces in life. She is the one who inquires on everything that she encounters. Her endless curiosity can never be satiated. I am an impediment to her goals which included she getting a 4.0 GPA. I constantly push her away to stop her from badgering me. With her out of the way, I allow my creativity to soar. My pencil dances across the surface. It twists and turns as my inspiration continues to grow. I am constantly striving for innovative concepts that are free from the restraints of education. This leaves me feeling guilty however, since she always fought back with tenacity. She started writing and calculating numbers, impeding the progress of my drawing. It is a constant fight between creativity and education. What should I do? I constantly yearn for freedom yet she subjugates me in shackles and chain. This leads us to a dilemma as I struggle to keep my identity. She is persistent. Her potency was as strong as mine. The equipollent between our volition kept both of us in a stalemate. The vessel of life that keeps both sides of the warring forces is in a state of uncertainty. Nothing will get done. One of us must appease the other.
The compromise was initiated. I proudly exhibit my prodigious arrangement of avian related item. She was intrigued and touched by my action. We both have an affinity for birds ever since we were born. Both of us enjoy the live recording of birds from our numerous collections of CD. She, the egghead, proudly and passionately identified the birds with their corresponding songs. Maybe we aren't so different. Maybe we have misunderstood each other. I know I cannot escape her; she is a part of me. My indecisiveness have ceased. I have gradually learned to accept her companionship. Even though at times we hide in one another's shadow, I know that she is not a distant and distinct part of me. We have become friends, closer to each other than ever before. We are able to work together in harmony : a team endeavoring on the same goal.
She is the activist, the researcher, the presenter who's hands shake as she presents her research in public and science competition. Her main goal is to inform and educate others on health and environmental issues. I am the aspiring artist, the one who believes music and the visual arts to be stimulating and influential to others, and the one to vehemently project my ideas and philosophy to others. I am the one who feels the realm beyond reality : silently crying as I play Nocturne on the piano and emotionally interpreting other forms of arts and music on the internet. She is the one who brings me back to reality : statistically proving the facts through logic and reason and harshly reveal the truth of the difficulty in life. She is a realist: rational and pessimistic. I am a dreamer: inspiring and optimistic. Sometimes the opposition of our personalities make us uncertain of our identity.
Despite the differences between the juxtaposition of our personalities, we are becoming more intertwined with one another day after day. Together we share the pain that accumulated from the adversity in life. However we also celebrate the joy and successes that we both tenaciously fought for. We draw on one another's source of energy, the inexplicable passion for life and learning. She provides me the drive and mental capacity to succeed in education while I return the favor by providing respites through hobbies and creativity. Together we have finally completed the drawing on the paper that was so difficult to complete due to the search for our identity. The drawing was a picture of my family and friends. Their support has reassured that she is I and I is she. We are one personality tangled together and formed as the person known as Jean.u again. I can't express my gratitude that I have found this site. Thank you for your time and kindness.
Humbly bows.
I will be honest with you an tell you what I really think. I have no idea what's the point that this essay is trying to make. You are trying to narrate a story but I can't understand who is taking part.
Narration is awesome and can make your essay to stand out, but the way you have used it is not working out well. Maybe, insert a dialog at the beginning and then elaborate. Explain what's the context behind the dialog and then you can continue with your narration.
This is my humble opinion.
