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Professor dad / U Penn Common APP/ Why U Penn?


fzzz_fm 1 / -  
Dec 21, 2012   #1
Hey guys. Here is my Upenn Why essay. Thanks for giving me any advice on either grammar and the contend....

How will you engage academically at Penn?

It is too difficult to fall in love with sociology with a geography and sociology professor father. My curious soul had made me a young assistant of my father's research team though my duties were fundamentally trivial, supplies, typo, photocopies, and etc.

When I expressed my ambition to pursuit a dream in U Penn, father did not tell me much except for an email address. I assumed that was the only drawback of having a professor dad. It belongs to Nelson, a former undergraduate student of my father, who is a faculty at the famous Calthorpe Associates. It did not take me long to befriend him. However, apart from few professional questions, he barely told me anything about U Penn except "Yep, I studied Urban Planning in U Penn. Well...it's a great school, you should definitely apply or you will regret". Fortunately, I knew what takes to be an independent researcher.

Though undergraduates cannot major in City Planning, I managed to find my niche at the College of Arts and Science, the Urban Studies, a fantastic corner stone for someone like me with a dream to design cities in future. The general introductory courses, such as urban research methods and urban sociology, will train me from an amateur to a professional. Moreover, the interdisciplinary courses, like music in urban spaces, will add a unique flavor to my curriculum; let alone I will have access to abundant urban-study examples of cities across continents and history.

Last but not least, the city and the university are two best case-studies. Though highly-developed, Philadelphia preserves its invaluable historical heritages. U Penn has few modern buildings to adapt to the trend. The aging buildings made of red bricks create a solemn ambience. Living and learning within such a campus, along with students from all over the world, I finally understand why Nelson use the word 'regret'. I cannot wait involving in the community and realizing my thoughts.
nairbear68 6 / 29 6  
Dec 22, 2012   #2
your last two paragraphs are great because they answer the prompt. however, your first sentence has nothing to do with "how you will engage academically at penn"

shorten your first paragraph so it's just an interesting hook and then get into the meat of the essay that actually answers the prompt

otherwise, very well-written aside from a few grammatical errors~

please let me know what you think of my own upenn essay!


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