Unanswered [1] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
Home / Undergraduate   2

Personal Profile for University Admission - an episode that taught you something about yourself

Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that taught you something about yourself and/ or the world around you

loved by all

I had a chance to reveal myself during my higher secondary school . It was about college captain election . I got nomination for the election and won the college captain election by the majority numbers of votes . I was surprised that I was loved by all . My generous and leading capacity had satisfied them . I spent a long period as a captain and arranged to many cultural activities . I helped my fellow juniors to have a fresh start in the college . I was in contact with my class teachers to help in different class related issues like as assignment collection for classmates , maintaining class schedules and exam-schedules . Beside the college captain I also volunteer for the college fund . I actively took part in raising the fund (1)for Rana plaza and Tazrin garments victims . I also helped Bangladesh National Blind Welfare Trust (BJAKS ) by selling stamps for them . After involving myself in few charity functions , I realize my little effort can make world a better place .


Jan 10, 2017   #2
S M, due to the one essay per thread policy of the forum, I will only be responding to the first essay in this list. The forum administrators will expect you to post each of these essays in individual threads. If you fail to do so, they will simply delete the successive essays after the first one in this thread. Once they do that, you will not receive any advice for those essays. Please follow the rules and post each essay in a dedicated thread. One topic per thread. For this particular thread, I will be giving you advice regarding only the first essay in the list.

The essay prompt seeks to learn about your character based upon your knowledge of your abilities and and ability to observe your personality based upon your response to the events happening in your world. The essay that you wrote lacks a deep analysis of your character as dictated by the prompt. It is important that you revise the essay to portray an experience that helped you to discover something about you that you did not know before. This could be a strength of character, a sense of empathy for others, or a desire to simply help your community when called upon to do so. There is no such development in this essay.

In your current essay you only speak of the way that you discharged your duties as the captain of your school government. That is not an appropriate way of responding to the prompt because it does not show a sense of character development or point of view regarding your abilities and how it affects other people. Consider the explanation that I gave in paragraph two of my review of your essay when you revise the content of your essay. That paragraph should serve as your guideline for the adjustment of your response in order to deliver the prompt requirements.

Home / Undergraduate / Personal Profile for University Admission - an episode that taught you something about yourself