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'your program in finance perfectly matches' - Common App Essay Help


sutrisno42 1 / -  
Feb 21, 2012   #1
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
please help me here, does my essay answer the question?and are there any mistakes?
any suggestions are welcome

Before I came to college in North Seattle as a freshman, I have already decided my major
to be business, specifically in finance. It all happened when I was still in 10th grade. At
that grade, most of my friends did not even think about what kind of major they wanted
to pursue, all they were thinking was having fun but not me. Unlike them, I have been
interested in business since I took my first business class in 9th grade. Having to deal
with variety of business problems that was actually happening in real life made me
interested in business. From that moment, I know I belong with the business world.
My experience with finance developed when I was still in 10th grade. My mother, who
did most of my family finances, showed me how financial investment works. She taught
me one of the best ways to finance was to invest in real estate. That was when I became
interested in financial investment. I always spend my free time to go with my mother to
her business meetings, any real estate open houses and even travel to foreign countries
to meet a buyer. At first, it seemed boring having to listen to adult's conversation that
has nothing to do with me but as I gained more experience and asking more questions, I
could understand better about what they were discussing. From this experience, I have
grasped more knowledge from different type of businessmen and now I knew that I
have the ability to familiarize myself to the real business world in the future.
When I got in to North Seattle Community College, I immediately took accounting class
in my 1st quarter to further develop my skill in business and I also took introduction to
real estate class in my 2nd quarter. Both of these courses have broadened my knowledge
in financial business and now I established even more expertise in real estate. After
taking these courses, I am more dedicated to pursuing finance as my intended major and
one of the ways to achieve that is by transferring to Seattle University. By attending
Seattle University, I hope to broaden and deepen my knowledge in finance and I am
convinced I can meet the academic challenges of Seattle University. I know I would grow
at Seattle University and your program in finance perfectly matches my academic
interests and professional goals.
dje1212 1 / 4  
Feb 21, 2012   #2
Before I came to college in North Seattle as a freshman, I have already decided my major
to be business, specifically in finance. It all happened when I was still in 10th grade; At
that grade,[no comma needed] most of my friends did not even think about what kind of major they wanted
to pursue, all they were thinking was having fun but not me. Unlike them, I have been
interested in business since I took my first business class in 9th grade.


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