Program/Track team& coaches/ Myself; Syracuse - Why apply?/ Dream Person

1.Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

My college search began when I started researching what colleges offered earth sciences. One of the major interests for me when applying to colleges is this program and not only did Syracuse University offer this program, it is spoken very highly of. After stumbling upon this school, I knew for sure that it would be one of my top picks because it also has an amazing track team as well as coaches. I wish to participate in this level as I have been in contact with the friendly coaches. Mr. Stowe, my extremely intelligent english teacher, also went to SU. Once he heard me mention the name, he immediately pulled up a chair and shared everything about what SU has to offer. And from then on I knew it was perfect fit.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

I don't dream of becoming anyone but myself. I want to challenge my abilities to build a strong and successful future. I dream of becoming an independent woman that has made a difference in this world for the better. I dream of being that woman who has touched not ones life but many lives. I dream to live a life full of happiness and effect everyone around me. That is my dream, my goal, and my true desire in life. By attending Syracuse University, I believe it will shape me by learning new skills and knowledge until one day when I can say my dreams have become a reality.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

All my life I was overjoyed with the thought of becoming employed. Ever since I was a little girl I was simply estatic about earning money that I could call my own. Finally as soon as I turned 16 I was very fortunate to have my current job working as a cashier at Shaw's Supermarket. Throughout these few years not only have I learned great customer service skills but I learned to something much more valuable. Building relationships can make your life truly worthwhile. Transaction after transaction, I have met so many amazing people by simply cashing them out.

Customer service representatives must be able to handle stressful situations. Dealing with difficult or angry customers can be wearisome. I've learned that by simply being helpful and kind, and engage in conversation, you really can make someones day.

1. 1.My college search began when I started researching colleges that offered earth sciences. One of my major collegiate interests is this program and not only did Syracuse University offer this program, it is highly regarded. After stumbling upon this school, I knew for sure that it would be one of my top picks because it also has an amazing track team as well as coaches. I wish to participate in this level as I have been in contact with the friendly coaches. Mr. Stowe, my extremely intelligent english teacher, also went to SU. Once he heard me mention the name, he immediately pulled up a chair and shared everything about what SU has to offer. **provide a couple examples as to what your teacher shared** And from then on I knew Syracuse was a perfect fit.

3. All my life I was overjoyed with the thought of becoming employed.

If there is no word limit, I would change it to "All my life I was overjoyed with the thought of employment." Just an idea. Hope it helps cause I'd try to avoid using "being".

Throughout these few years not only have I learned great customer service skills but I learned to something much more valuable. Building relationships can make your life truly worthwhile.

Replace the period with a colon "Throughout these few years not only have I learned great customer service skills but I learned to something much more valuable: building relationships - a trait that can make your life truly worthwhile."

I've learned that by simply being helpful and kind, and engage in conversation, you really can make someones day.

I would reword to "I've learned that through simple helpfulness and kindness and an engagement in conversation can really make someone's day"

I know I've been real nitpicky, but all these things are just personal touches I would use.

Hope this helps!

Honestly, thank you so much!! Every little bit helps. God bless you. And there is no word limit!