Any suggestions are appreciated. Criticize me very harshly!!! Feel free to change anything.
1. Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:
What I find most appealing about Columbia University is its prominent core curriculum and prestigious faculty.
Columbia's education is responsible for numerous creative thinkers and visionaries. The core curriculum at Columbia University teaches students to become worldly and to appreciate subjects outside their realm of familiarity and/or interests. Aspiring to become an engineer, I will learn how to express and discuss my ideas freely with other students. Although engineers have a dominant focus on the technicalities of their careers, by taking classes such as "Contemporary Civilization" and "Music Humanities" I will strive to become well-rounded and well-versed in other disciplines.
In addition to the core, the outstanding and innovative faculty at Columbia University is very alluring. The dedication with which professors and researchers at Columbia work will have an immense impact on my intellectual growth and application of theory to reality. Because the student to teacher ratio at Columbia is very small, professors are much more accessible to their students. By working alongside ingenious professors at the college, I will develop healthy, academic relationships and my capacity to discover new knowledge will significantly increase.
By attending Columbia University, I will be equipped with the tools to venture beyond the known boundaries of our current understanding of fundamental concepts.
i like it. you have lots of very well structured sentences.
this sentence is odd to me, in regards to logic:
Aspiring to become an engineer, I will learn how to express and discuss my ideas freely with other students.
The dedication with which professors and researchers at Columbia work will have an immense impact on my intellectual growth and application of theory to reality [this last part sounds weird, but it may just be personal preference]
By working alongside ingenious professors at the college, I will develop healthy [i would change this. maybe valuable? beneficial? lasting?], academic relationships and my capacity to discover new knowledge will significantly increase.
when you get a chance, could you look at my columbia essay also? thanks!
The core curriculum at Columbia University teaches students to become worldlyglobal citizens and to appreciate subjects outsidebeyond their own realm of familiarity and/or interests.
Althoughmost? engineers have a dominant focus on the technicalities of their careers, by taking classes such as "Contemporary Civilization" and "Music Humanities" I will strive to become well-rounded and well-versed in other disciplines. wait, are you taking this now? or are you planning to take this?
Because theDue to the small student to teacher ratio at Columbia is very small , professors are much more accessible to their studentsMaybe you should say something like: I would be able to access to my professors more easily .
Here is my impression of you after reading this essay: You try hard to write what you think would make columbia feel good. You should write more about how you the applicant, feel like you belong in columbia rather than say: Hey, I wanna go in because I think this faculty is really cool. If it helps, you can probably do some background information on specifics, rather than just describing the whole faculty in general words such as "outstanding". You answer this question head on without supplying much information about who you are as a student, and as a person. You have to instead, prove to Columbia why YOU deserve to be there. Overall, I find this essay to be too general.
Hope this helps.
-NV
