Proving that I will be a succesful student at Johns Hopkins University

John's Hopkins Supplement Essay

Successful students at Johns Hopkins make the biggest impact by collaborating with others, including peers, mentors, and professors. Talk about a time, in or outside the classroom, when you worked with others and what you learned from the experience. (300-400 wrods)

During the summer of 2017, I was invited to SHAD, a month-long STEM camp. We are assigned to groups to create a product that reduces Canada's energy footprint. My group of 10 people had a unique dynamic but shared one commonality that we were all exceptional students back home. Well, a project with 10 amazing students must be a breeze!

No. It was living hell. As bright students, we were not afraid to voice our opinions. Some were extremely loud, overpowering the quieter members, which forced them to shy away. Consequently, our initial brainstorming process took us ages longer than other teams, who branded us as the "most dysfunctional team". Discussions turned into arguments, which turned into conflict, then to drama, then to lack of productivity. At times, we refused to work with each other.

I couldn't stand it anymore so I decided to act as the "integrator". There was a major conflict between the "smart guy" (let's call him "John") who understood the technology of our product (automatic dimming lightbulb), and the rest of the team who were not as talented in technology as he was. John had a tendency to not listen to anyone because of this and his condescending attitude drove others away. I acted as a mediator, because I understood both the technology and the emotions of the rest of my team. I urged John to have more patience and empathy and convinced him that the rest of our team had different talents. To everyone else, I urged that if we give John more trust, we could really go somewhere with our product. As a result, roles were divided according to our abilities. John made sure that he nailed the technology side while others with various skills such as marketing or writing worked on the business plan.

In the end, our team placed first in many categories. It was the fruit of both the conflicts we had and the late-night work sessions that we worked as one team. At the end of SHAD, we grew as a person and learned how to be a team member. We all learned that the most important teamwork skill is not having the most talent. Rather, it is the ability to integrate a team by respecting each other, listening to different voices, and appreciating and trusting the talents of your teammates to form synergy and to produce 200% result.

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!

Danny, as far as I am concerned, this is one of the more exemplary John Hopkins supplemental essays that I have reviewed at this forum. You have managed to deliver the necessities of the prompt on all points. From the type of activity, the participants, your individual contributions, the group dynamic, everything about this essay just falls into place perfectly. I would not change anything about the content. As far as I am concerned, this is a more than satisfactory essay that is almost ready for submission. I said almost ready because the last paragraph of the essay needs to be reworded in order to be more relevant to the discussion. Saying that "we grew as a person" is incorrect because of the plural word rules. "We" signifies many and should therefore be represented by the collective word "people" instead of "person". The proper reference would be either "We grew as individuals" or "We grew as people" but not "We grew as a person". If I may, I'd like you to add a personal touch to the end of the essay by referencing something personal that you learned so that you can say that "I learned" in opposition to what you learned as a group. The individual lessons that you picked up from the activity are far more important, interesting, and informative for the reviewer to learn about. After all, this essay is all about the "I" in the group dynamic lessons rather than the "we".

hey Danny
You have a greatly chosen account which would do with some improvement in the execution.Your script was written in simple English, making it sound like any other random story and might risk losing the reader's attention.I would encourage you to add more complex English phrases and, if possible, some captivating incident which can hence help you derive what you "learned from the experience".

Remember also that what they need is for you to focus on the subject of the topic-",when you worked with others and what you learned from the experience" and that should be the richest part of your script which will also earn you credit