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Psychology and sociology fields. How will studying in the American University in Cairo benefit me?

mennaemad 2 / 3  
Jan 25, 2016   #1
Education is a very important factor and step towards success, in order for someone to exceed in life one must, for starters, have a proper education. While heading out to university , I am not just going to be leaving high school , no , I'll be leaving a stage in my life that had a certain style and system and I'll be moving to a harder stage in my life with different rules , contents and expectations.

Ever since I was a little girl, studying at the American university in Cairo has been a dream for me and my mother. I remember how when I was little she used to talk to me about the university and how it'll be a different world full of important and interesting experiences and high quality education . Later as I started growing up, I started leaning towards certain fields that only the American university in Cairo could offer me in very high quality, these fields being psychology and sociology. This university has always been the epitome of a successfully well-built arts university, one that presented and offered the right forms of various liberal arts fields of studying. What gave me the greatest push to pursue majoring psychology in the American university in Cairo was the great number of highly educated and well-trained professional professors that will be teaching the right techniques and necessities of this certain field I'm pursuing. The faculty members of the psychology department at the American university in Cairo clearly show extreme success and prosperity, taking in consideration the previous graduates' feedbacks and evaluating the amount of knowledge they have absorbed from their 4 years at the American university in Cairo. When I see myself going further in my psychology career in the future, I see myself doing this in only one way and it is to have a proper , inspiring , and well-built skills that I think could only be obtained in my opinion from the effective and updated education being offered in the American university in Cairo.

I believe that the American university , will be able to offer me not only the high quality education that I'm looking for , no , it will also offer me great experiences that will lead me through life after college. I think that studying psychology at the American university in Cairo will not only benefit me educationally but it will aid in the prosperity of my career afterwards.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 25, 2016   #2
Menna, reviewers do not give much weight to claims made in a personal statement that contains lines like "Ever since I was a little girl..." They do not believe that a child too young to understand what college is all about can have the ability to decide, even before she hits grammar school, has the ability to make such an important decision. They prefer more realistic claims that do not involve stories about your childhood wherein your mother instilled the love for the university in you. That doesn't make the kind of impression that you think it will make upon them. It is not an appreciated statement so you should think about revising that part of your essay.

There is nothing solid in your essay that the reviewer may consider to be a strong enough reason for you to be admitted to American University - Cairo at this point. The message of your essay is too generalized in content. Even as you speak of your major choice as being only properly offered at American University - Cairo, there is no justification on your part for these claims. What programs does the university offer that the others don't? What internship opportunities do you think you can benefit from? What sets Cairo university apart from the other universities which you feel will give you a bigger edge or benefit when compared to the others?

You also need to proof read your essay and correct your spelling errors. Make sure that all the proper nouns are capitalized, your paragraph spacing is correct, and your spelling has passed through spellcheck. Correct all of the mistakes that you may find. I will not be pointing those out to you because you still need to revise your essay content at this point. So the editing and revising can still be done from your end.
OP mennaemad 2 / 3  
Jan 29, 2016   #3
i will be posting this essay taking in consideration that remarks that you gave me. thanks !

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