UT Psychology transfer. Statement of Purpose. Human Interaction

I am currently working on my statement of purpose for the University of Texas. I have some ideas that are quite scattered and would really love any and all input. I apologize in advance for being all over the place. The directions are as follows...

"The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey."

As a long time resident of the state of Texas I have come to admire and respect the quality of the education available at the University of Texas. I have lived in a number of states, most recently Massachusetts, and have had a broad range of experiences that I believe would make me a stronger candidate today than at a previous time. Living in four different states has provided me with exposure to diversity and perspective. It has also helped me to realize the importance of supportive and familiar relationships, which are already firmly established in the state of Texas. Noted for its culture and the arts, Austin Texas holds many of the same qualities that made Boston so attractive to me.

It is my desire to attend and graduate from a university noted for excellence. Having made the transition from Collin College, I have come to understand and appreciate greater demands and higher expectations of renowned universities. I am confident that being successful at Northeastern will enable me to be successful at the University of Texas.

Everyone faces adversities throughout their lifetime, but it is what we learn from these instances that shape our character. I have remained resilient in the face of adversity and have an ability to adapt. From a young age I was faced with life changing events that caused me to feel inferior to my peers. It is because of these feelings that I began to strive for success and connection to others as a child. I have an ability to find a common bond with any person that I speak to, no matter how brief. However I am especially interested in human interaction on more than just a superficial level.

Noted for its culture and the arts, Austin, Texas holds many of the same qualities that made Boston so attractive to me. - Hm..why did you bring Boston into this?

I am confident that being successful at Northeastern will enable me to be successful at the University of Texas.

However I am especially interested in human interaction on more than just athe superficial level.

Def. expand on the last paragraph. Give specific examples that can draw out your character and strong attributes.

Great start!
Good luck! :)

I think your essay would be better if you start with paragraph two, then three, then use your first paragraph for the ending. Read it through that way and see what you think.

It is my desire to attend and graduate from a university noted for excellence. Having made the transition ...

Everyone faces adversities throughout their lifetime, but it is what we learn from these instances that shape our character...

As a long time resident of the state of Texas I have come to admire and respect the quality of the education available at the University of Texas...

... I have come to understand and appreciate the greater demands and higher expectations of renowned universities.
I have an ability to find a common bond with any person that I speak to, no matter how brief our conversation.