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Public speaking - Second opinion on my UC Personal Insight Questions!

SolarFlare1230 1 / -  
Nov 14, 2018   #1
UC Prompt #1 - Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Public speaking was never really something I would do for "fun". Of course, I've had to give presentations for certain classes, but only to complete an assignment. In contrast, there was one presentation which had a different meaning to it. I decided to sign up for the MESA course my sophomore year, expecting to build and test creations. To my surprise, two of my classmates and I were randomly chosen to take part in a public speaking assignment which would lead up to a statewide speech contest near the end of the year. At first, none of us were up for the task. We protested to the teacher, but to no avail. Eventually, I accepted my fate and moved on, but my teammates ventured on in protest.

Time passed, and I began to like the idea of showcasing my ideas to experienced professionals. Assisting my teacher, I persuaded my team members to accept the challenge with an open mind. With argumentative strategies and elements at the ready, my persuasive arsenal was one which could have impressed Aristotle. How could they resist the desire to win? The desire to impress teachers and peers alike? Most importantly, how could they turn down the challenge so many others wouldn't dare to take on?

In a way, this was my qualifying round of public speaking. My teacher knew he could trust me to steer the group in the right direction. Getting to work, I kept my group on task and determined to win. Throughout the year, our focus shifted from numerous things, such as pesticide misuse to self driving cars, but the end goal was the same. We had to win.

Funnily enough, that year we took home the gold. I've felt the sweet taste of victory before, such as basketball games and spelling bees, yet this victory felt different. Not only did I win with my individual merit, I propelled my peers into succeeding.

Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Nov 14, 2018   #2
Eknoor, you have to change the second paragraph as you have it presented at the moment. In this type of essay, you do not need to present rhetorical questions. Providing these rhetorical questions leaves the essay lacking in qualifying information. Rather than questions, present the responses instead. Depict how you influenced the team using an internal debate, one where the team participated in arguing with you which proves that you used logic and reasoning to influence their final decision to take on the challenge. By elaborating on your influencing skills, you will be able to give more meaning to the win that the team had that year. It becomes more prompt supportive in presentation.

If it were up to me though, I would choose a more advanced topic for this presentation. Something that showcases your maturity as a person or the development of an adult mindset that helped you to influence the situation. While your current essay does show how you contributed to the group effort over time, the situation and theme that you have chosen to discuss seems too simple and unimpressive. It lacks the "wow" factor that would make it memorable to the reviewer. Then again, that's just me. You don't have to change the essay if you don't want to. I am merely stating my opinion based on insight regarding this type of prompt statements.

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