I'd be grateful if you'd briefly review this essay draft along with any constructive criticisim if necessary. (100 words or less)
How will opportunities at Purdue support your interests, both in and out of the classroom?
Nothing else interests me more than computer science, and Purdue can assist me in exploring the field in far greater detail. I'm impressed by all the CS courses the university has to offer under the guidance of well-distinguished professors. One of them that I'm particularly excited about is Competitive Programming III by Ninghui Li. I'm also looking forward to working on research projects under the guidance of professors like Christopher Clinton and Tamal Dey. Additionally, taking part in the CPU club for ACM-ICPC will up my programming skills, and AITP can support me in making better career decisions.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,028 4247
Simply mentioning the professors names does not mean that the classes will support your interests. The focus changes from the subject to the personality when you name drop this way. The focus has to be on the subject rather than the teacher. Talk about what you hope to learn in the class or what skill you wish to develop, without mentioning a particular professor as who teaches the course is irrelevant when compared to the learning opportunity that will be presented to you.
The essay is too focused on the academic aspect both in and out of the classroom. For the outside the classroom part, try cast a wider net by including the reference to the non-major related activities and interests you can pursue at the university. Consider the question "How can I become a well rounded person and socially diverse part of the student community?" For this part of the statement.