I'm new to the forum so I am sorry if this is posted in the wrong section.
No, you are in the right forum... ... Well done and thanks! :)
Emerson comes highly recommended by friends and family.
why do they recommend Emerson? If you don't give any clue about that , this sentence does not provide any value to your response. Also, I feel it has no connection with the question that asks what made you to choose your major. If you talk about your family and friends, then you better tell that they recommend that particular major for you.
I am looking for a school that is inclusive to everyone; no matter what ethnicity, religion, or sexual preference. After reading the "Mission" section of the Emerson College Brochure, I believe that it is a great place to begin my college career. Although leaving New York City will not be easy, the beautiful location of Emerson's campus gives me the feeling of being in a home away from home.
None of these sentences talk about what influenced you to select your major. Therefore I feel this response needs more alignment with the prompt.