"we put more of our lives in the hands of machines" - Stanford Intellectual Idea

This is my answer to the prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250 words)

Can you help me with completeness and overall flow of the essay as well as any grammatical things.

Can you be sure this is written by a human?
The singularity, as described in Ray Kurzweil's The Singularity is Near, is the point in time at which artificial intelligence surpasses the intellect of humans. The concept of a computer-based future is an interesting speculation, but what makes it really fascinating is that it will actually happen. And probably during my lifetime.

With modern technology advancing at an alarming rate, we continue to put more of our lives in the hands of machines. Facebook handles our social lives, GPS knows our surroundings and where we are, and the World Wide Web stores all of the information we will ever need. As of right now, technology has not advanced to a point equal to human intelligence, yet the integration of humans and computers is causing a seamless transition into the singularity.

The singularity is intriguing because of the notions of intelligent supercomputers unlocking the mysteries of the universe, but more importantly that it will happen in the near future. Whether or not we reach this point in my lifetime, we will continue to innovate and integrate our lives with technology. This is why Kurzweil refers to this future as the singularity, comparing it to the mathematical model of a point going toward zero: we will become closer and closer to a time of a technological utopia, and yet we may never reach it.

This is awesome! Very impressive... but you did not successfully explain the significance of the term 'singularity.' This essay is not complete until you give an idea about that concept. Make the reader understand. It definitely hooks my attention, though!! :-)

You have to add a sentence that perfectly expresses the meaningfulness of that term. ha ha... meaningfulness... but yeah, the goal is to affect the reader by making her experience that insight.

At first you say that we will probably reach the singularity in your lifetime, and then give evidence of how close we are.

Then, your final sentence says that it might forever approach it, but never reach it.

The conclusion seems to disagree with your main point (that the singularity is imminent, and this is what is so fascinating) so I think you should scrap it.

Hopefully that didn't sound too harsh.

jasennett