please i dont know what should i do with it, is it not bad
Three years ago, I came to Qatar, and enrolled in a school in Doha. After a class allocation test, I assigned to the science section which concentrates more on major sciences. Since then, I have started to learn more about physics. I was excited by all the new opportunities given to me in my new surroundings. The different environment produced different influences, allowing me to think deeply about my future and myself.
Since I have began to search for colleges that offer programs which I want to major in, I found Chicago's physics program is the thing that inspired me the most. I have heard that the department of physics in University of Chicago is known for its great physics system. In addition, the fact that it is not hard to find Novelist in teaching staff of the University of Chicago shocked and encouraged me to study under best professor in physics. Above all, I have done assisting teacher in physics and mechanics since two years ago and have expanded my interest of physics by sharing my information with others. In...
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This is a good essay, a few points however :-)
I assigned - I was assigned
Since then, I have started to learn more about physics. - Since then, I started learning more about physics.
The different environment produced different influences, allowing me to think deeply about my future and myself. - The different environment exerted varied influences, thus prompting me to think deeply about my future and myself. One more note, please expand this sentence on how exactly it allowed you to introspect, that is not becoming clear.
Since I have began to search for colleges that offer programs which I want to major in, I found Chicago's physics program is the thing that inspired me the most. - Since I began searching for colleges that offer programs which I want to major in, I found Chicago's physics program is the one that inspired me the most.
In addition, the fact that it is not hard to find Novelist in teaching staff of the University of Chicago shocked and encouraged me to study under best professor in physics. - shocked is not a good word here
Athletics program is another big motivation of the reason why I am applying to University of Chicago. - Give some examples of your interest and activities in athletics.
Although I am still considering some other university that can help me to achieve my dream, no other university has intrigued me as much as the University of Chicago. - I suggest you rephrase this so that you come across as very much interested in University of Chicago only.
The 2nd comma in the first sentence should be removed.
Also...
After a class allocation test, I was assigned to the ...
Since I have began begun to search for colleges that...
Above all, I have done assisting been assisting my te acher in physics and mechanics classes for two years a nd have expanded my interest of physics by...
The athletics program is another big motivation of the reason why I am source of my motivation to apply to University of Chicago.
This is a very well-written sentence!----> Although I am still considering some other university universities that can help me to achieve my dream, no other university has intrigued me as much as the University of Chicago.
Essay for university of toronto,
Hi,
it is a bit long
but please edit it.
Thank you
One can apparently make 12,148 paper swans from one piece of A4 paper. Though I have often tried to imagine how this was possible, it was figures such as these that first piqued my interest in origami. At the age of six, I learned about Origami for the first time. My father had to hide his documents every single day or else run the risk of seeing them turned into ducks or swans. When I started school, I was able to dazzle my friends, and sometimes even my teachers, with the skills of my craft.
My abilities extend beyond origami however and in the course of my life, I have been lucky enough to experience many different cultures and traditions. Through my travels to places, I have been able to use my experience to gain an appreciation for how lucky I am to be in a position to go to university and get a degree. Many of the children I encountered in these countries will not get such opportunities and I am thankful that my situation allows me to pursue a career that I want.
Three years ago, I came to Qatar, and enrolled in a school in Doha. After a class allocation test, I was assigned to the science section which concentrates more on major sciences. Since then, I started to learn more about physics. I was excited by all the new opportunities given to me in my new surroundings. The different environment exerted varied influences, thus prompting me to think deeply about my future and myself.
As I became junior, I started to look for the university that I would spend my four years of university life. Since I began to search for colleges that offer programs which I want to major in, I found Toronto's engineering program is the one that inspired me the most. I have heard that engineering major in University of Toronto known for its great system. Above all, I have done assisting teacher in physics and mechanics since two years ago and have expanded my interest of physics by sharing my information with others. In addition, my father, who works with General Electric, supported me to keep my dream of becoming the world best engineer. I used to visit his construction field to see more that motivated me a lot. I believe University of Toronto will not only keep, but also promote my interest and my talent in engineering.
Above all, in school, my friends are from Arab countries, believe in same religion, live in similar environment, and speak the same language. I always wondered to see bigger world and new people with outlandish experience. University of Toronto throws out the way I can find solution. While I looked up for it, I could know University of Toronto provides students best chance to learn more. In addition, large number of undergraduate programs will enable me to interact with many more. Moreover, huge and diverse student body, which consisted of many interesting things, increased my interest in University of Toronto.
My time in Qatar has given me an insight into a completely different culture and experience. The first year in Qatar was a baptism of fire for me. I was the only Korean at my school, and for a while, I relied almost solely on gestures. I had to come to terms with the English language as well as a new culture. The climate also presented many challenges for me and at times I longed for the rainy seasons of my home in Changwon, Korea. I was waiting in the wings, hoping that to be better without seeing any tears or hear of any complaining from myself.
However, I have made progress. Years later they started to call me fast learner and I was the very one who share information to the others. Despite these difficulties, I have managed to be accepted by my classmates and teachers as a productive member of the school. I am recognized as someone who is not afraid of hard work and perseverance. I have even used my skills in origami to good effect and I am lucky to have such wonderful friends and colleagues.
Besides, over the past two years, I have done shadow teach in my school. This occurs when teachers in certain subjects are absent and I volunteer as a shadow teacher in subjects such as economics, business, and physics. Two years of being a shadow teacher has instilled many qualities in me. Firstly, it has given me confidence. I have learned how to speak in front of a crowd without becoming nervous thanks to having the opportunity of sharing information with my classmates. Secondly, the benefits have been academic. Preparation has solidified my own understanding and appreciation of the material. Thirdly, I could improve my relationship with the others. I would like to share my knowledge and passion with others, and shadow teaching helps me not only stay closer with friends, but also with teachers by interacting with them. I have experienced sacrifice, hardship and success through this activity.
I have considered some university that can help me to achieve my dream, no other university has intrigued me as much as the University of Toronto. My time in Qatar has taught me that patience and hard work bear fruit. I will strive to apply what I have learned from my experiences to my college life and beyond. At the University of Toronto, I will experience and witness advancement in myself, but I will also clarify my goals. I believe that I can develop, improve, and expand my own goals by studying at University of Toronto.
You should feel very confident in this essay. My best suggestion for you is to try to identify a goal for the future based on what is important to you. If you establish a clear goal, you can let the reader know that attending this program is part of working toward that goal. You talked a lot about your past, but I think you should find room (in the first and last paragraph, perhaps) to let the reader know exactly what you are trying to accomplish -- just like a candidate running for office. :-)
