So I have a supplemental that's due in less than 24 hours for the UBC BSc. Any help would be nice. I have a feeling my second answer is weak and any kind of help would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
What qualities do you have that prepare you for success in the Bachelor of Science program? (250 words max.)
A quality I possess that will help me prepare for Bachelor of Science program is my eagerness and determination to help others. Through volunteering and work experience I have gained leadership skills, decision-making skills, teamwork skills and communication skill. I have volunteered at various locations that deal with interacting and helping kids and adults. I'm currently volunteering at Science World and my job is to be a good role model and teach visitors about science in a fun way. Many times the adults even ask me questions on how some exhibits work. I've also volunteered at a H1N1 Flu Vaccine Clinic during the H1N1 pandemic. Vaccinations were scarce and I had to follow priority listings. This led me needing to make hard decisions as to whether or not decline the vaccination to a few people. Another quality I possess is being ambitious. I think that quality is required for biological sciences, especially if you want to research for new cures. My future goal would be to develop a cure for paraplegia and quadriplegia. I know that as of now there's no cure. However, when I graduate I believe that technology will improve and as a result will enable us to find cures that were never thought possible. My ambitions and determination will motivate me to learn and thus succeed in the Bachelor of Science program.
Describe one experience that influenced the kind of science you want to study. (250 words max.)
The Olympics have finally come to Vancouver, Canada. I have been following up on it every day checking up how many medals Canada won. However, I never went to the venues to see it live. When the Paralympics came I was given complimentary Ice Sledge Hockey tickets from Science World. As I was watching I was amazed at how well they could still play. Even though they could not skate properly on their two feet they were still able to find an alternative way to skate and play. The passes and goals were beautiful. The atmosphere of the arena was no different from a normal hockey event. The dedication and determination gave warmth to my heart. However, while watching I thought about what would happen if I can find a cure that will once again allow them to walk on two legs. People have pitied them long enough. I want to be able to help these people regain their lives back and enable them from doing the things they used to be able to do. I believe that paraplegics and quadriplegics should be given a second chance. With UBC's well known science program, I will be given the knowledge to help the handicapped get a second chance. Being accepted into the Bachelor of Science program will enable me to be another step closer to my goal of helping the less fortunate.
Great two essays!!!
However in the first essay, I think you focused more on your experiences rather than you qualities.
Try to explain more about your qualities and tie it in with your future plans in science.
ONLY MY THOUGHT
HOWEVER very good essays. I really like the second one and I do not think its that weak.
Keep working on it and when you have time please read over my Goal Statement
essayforum.com/undergraduate-admission-essays-2/professional-goals-sta tement-should-explain-detail-need-16145/
GOOD LUCK WITH COLLEGE AND HOPEFULLY YOU GET IN
Hi thank you so much Kyu but I used real life experiences because I think the university wants to see examples of those qualities. I am not too sure about it either perhaps someone else may know for sure. If anyone knows how I can improve it'd be great. Thank you in advance and Kyu I'll be sure to take a look at your essay in a bit.
lol anyone? sorry for being pushy just the supplement is due in 6 hours.
Hey, wassup?
I'm working on those too, actually. So, I like your essays, but i think you're right, the second one feels kinda choppy. What I mean is that the content is fine, but you just need to work on sentence structure. There are too many short sentences.
Would you also say that i should write more about qualities than real life experiences on the first one?
I think that the first one is fine. You just should make sure that there is a connection between your experiences and those qualities, which I think there is, so that those experiences expand on the qualities you're trying to present.
Yes, I believe that is necessary for you to write more about qualities than real life experiences on the first paragraph question.
I have volunteered at various locations that involve deal with interacting with and helping kids and adults.
This would be nicer with both of them matching:
My ambitions ambition and determination will motivate me to learn and thus succeed in the Bachelor of Science program.
The Olympics have finally come to Vancouver, Canada. ---- great choice of topic!!!
I want to be able to help these people regain their lives back and enable them from doing to do the things they used to be able to do.
You have a great style of writing. I think you should divide this second answer into 2 paragraphs, though. I'm sorry I didn't comment before your deadline!! :-)
Lol well that's ok Kevin thank you so much anyways. I'm glad to see I didn't make too many mistakes so I'm pretty happy.
