Prompt:In no more than 300 words, tell us something about yourself that isn't covered elsewhere in this application, some interest or experience of yours that you think the University of Illinois should know about as part of the admissions review.
The secret to a perfect life is not just possessing money or other material objects, but is in
developing your inner self. Self-improvement might sound like a fancy or a very heavy word for today's teens, but for me, it is the truth, which disciplines such as martial arts and yoga have taught me. My dad has always been interested in martial arts since his school days and my mom is a Yoga teacher. Hence, I was exposed to both these disciplines since my childhood.
Good internal values are always at the centre of a rewarding and a successful life and these values are the most important lessons that Yoga and Karate have taught me. By practising
moves, even when the body is on the verge of giving up and when the thought of
quitting seems more appealing,. I have emerged stronger and persistent, capable of enduring any kind of test life throws at me.. I have learnt that the mind is far greater than the body, and that, once I learn to take control of my mind, nothing can stop me from achieving my goal.
Martial arts as well as Indian culture have taught me to be humble and respect everyone and everything. Yoga and meditation have taught me to focus all my concentration towards the
work at hand and not to get distracted by anything that comes my way. With practice, I have grown more confident and strong, both mentally and physically. I have learnt to commit myself to something rather than quitting, once I have started something. I thus, feel that these qualities I possess, always have and will always be instrumental, in improving and pushing me forward as a student, who wants to achieve a lot.
I thus, feel that these qualities I possess, always have and will always be instrumental, in improving and pushing me forward as a student, who wants to achieve a lot.
That sentence structure is... questionable. Too many commas and the main point of your sentence gets lost.
How about: "Thus, these qualities I possess will further improve and push me as a student." It makes your point clear and concise.
