Can someone please check this out? I am open to all types of suggestions and criticism! BTW! If there are any grammar mistakes, please point them out! Thanks
In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission.
I am a curious, determined Brazilian Jew and I still feel the urge to "be more." After I realized how different people can be and the influence their backgrounds has on them, I have yearned to learn more about the cultures of others. I have been dreaming to study abroad because I've always wanted to keep feeding my curiosity and learn how I can give back my knowledge and experiences to the world. I visited BU's campus last April and instantly felt that it resonates highly with what I have been dreaming to experience in college: cultural exchange, intellectual growth, diversity, and identity.
BU's Business Administration and Management major became unique and appealing to me once I realized that I could interweave my interest in attaining a managerial education and join an array of student clubs. Combining both my career-oriented interest and my passion for sports, I can clearly see myself as a member of the Sports Management Association, for example.
Located in one of the most vibrant cities in the US, BU effectively integrates academic and social sites where students are able to study and make lasting friendships. Having a good time is always possible by reaching equilibrium between academic and leisure activities, and BU's campus and community encourage this lifestyle. I want to be part of this responsible, educated, global community, and I am confident that if I am granted the opportunity to attend Boston University, my dreams will come true.
Word Count: 243
As a curious, determined Brazilian Jew, I feel the urge to "become more." Seeing the influence that people's backgrounds have on them, I have yearned to learn more about the cultures of others. I have dreams to study abroad because I want to feed my curiosity and learn how to give back to the world. I visited BU's campus last April and instantly realized that it resonates highly with my dreams about college which revolve around cultural exchange, intellectual growth, diversity, and identity.
i edited the first paragraph for you but I think you should observe tense/word choice as many of your sentences sound awkward...they should be edited down to sound more succinct
