Essay Question:
Consider all the extracurricular activities (community involvement, paid and/or volunteer work experience, entrepreneurial ventures) that you have been involved in during the past four years. Select three activities that you feel demonstrate your leadership abilities best. Focus your description on elements that demonstrate: teamwork, initiative, achievement, commitment and breadth. Each description should focus on one activity only.
For the main activity description, use an essay format, NOT bullet points. Please limit your description for each activity to 500 words. We recommend you type up and edit your essays in a separate word processing program and then copy and paste into the description field when you are satisfied that it is complete.
Essay:
It was the winter of 2006 when music became a significant part of my life. Every boy in my Grade 3 class was called down to our auditorium to sing "O Canada" for a tall, scrupulous-looking old man: a representative of St. Michael's Choir School. After my performance, I was the only student selected and went on to complete an academic audition, ultimately granting me admission into the "the choir school".
For the last nine years, I have been training in an intensive music program, consisting of choral, piano, and music theory. In addition to my five-day school week, I commit four hours every Saturday to sing 5pm Mass at St. Michael's Cathedral. The weekly performances are preceded by upwards of seven hours of rehearsal, some of which taking place after school. These numbers greatly increase, however, during the Christmas and Easter seasons. In preparation of our annual Massey Hall concerts, my days often become much longer, as I am expected to attend additional rehearsals and media events. Earlier this year, I arrived at 98.1 CHFI at 6am to sing a set of pieces, after which I was expected to attend a full school day, followed by a ninety-minute rehearsal. Anyone who was not 100% dedicated to pursuing excellence in choir would have quit, rather than endure another day of gruelling work. However, my mind was clear: music is my passion, and I will do whatever it takes to unlock my full potential.
Through my experiences with the Choir School I have really found the truth in the phrase "you get what you put in." Over the past four years, our choir has taken part in several tours, both national and international. In 2013, I had the opportunity of touring Italy, where I sang for Pope Francis, and at Mass in St. Peter's Basilica. Later that year, my choir was declared the Best Male Youth Choir in the country by Choral Canada. The countless hours that I put into rehearsal- not only at our regular rehearsals, but also through my own initiative at home- had paid off. My experiences with the choir have helped me grow to recognize the value of hard work, a notion that I continue to apply in other areas of my life.
As a senior chorister, I often cantor in mass. Cantoring not only teaches you to project your voice more clearly, but it also teaches you to keep calm under pressure and forces you focus in stressful, demanding, and mission-critical situations. Moreover, I am put in a leadership position to mentor and set an example for the younger members. Every voice is a "cog in the machine" and is an important part of the overall structure of the sound created. It is for this reason that when a fellow chorister makes a mistake, I will take the effort to help him. The choir uses an apprentice/apprentice-trainer system so over my years at the school, I have helped younger choristers develop their voices and teach them proper techniques. Choral is not about individual play, but rather teamwork.
Overall, music has greatly impacted my life, whether it be through my choir, band, or piano. In every walk of life, there are people who hang on and wait for things to happen before they start. Music teaches you to simply "go for it" and take chances, something that will greatly benefit in future endeavours.
Hi Josh, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay.
- Every boy in my3rd Grade 3 class was called down
- ultimately granting me admission into the "the choir school".
- The weekly performances are preceded by upwards of seven hours of rehearsal,
- some of which are taking place after school.
- These numbers greatly increased , however,
- my days oftenwould become
- to sing a sets of pieces,
- to pursuing excellence in choir would have quited ,
- rather than endure another day of gruellinggrueling work.
There you have it Josh, my initial remarks on your essay, I hope it helps, be careful with the spelling as well as the verb form that you
use in your sentences.
Hi Josh, below are my final remarks for your essay.
-I had the opportunity of touringvisiting Italy,
- a notionsecond nature that I continue to apply in other areas of my life.
- Moreover, I am put inheld a leadership position
- Overall, music has greatly impacteda great impact in my life,
- something that will greatly benefit inyour future endeavou rs.
Josh, be careful with your spelling, turn on your spell checker at all times, it really helps, also, mind the word choice
and the verb tenses that you incorporate in your sentences.
I hope my final remarks helped in enhancing your essay, for future reference, do a refresher on the language rules
before writing, this helps you get more exposure in coming up or creating great sentences that will merit a great essay.
