I'm worried about this short answer because although I think it's a more unique take on the question, it doesn't show my knowledge about Brown very well (except the last sentence; even there it's very basic knowledge). I've changed location names for the sake of privacy, so sorry if it sounds stupid. If you must know, I'm an international applicant. I'm willing to help read other peoples' essays; just let me know.
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Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?
(958/1000 characters)
I was a nomad for the first seven years of my life. I was born in A, moved to B when I was four and then again to C when I was five. C was a quiet city of just over 100,000 inhabitants. D has over 7 million inhabitants. All my years in D, I've always felt out of place. I remember stepping out of the cab that fateful August evening in 1999 into a whole new world, having to reel my neck backwards to see the top of my new apartment complex. I couldn't adapt to the hustle-bustle, the pollution, the bright lights and the hectic indifference exhibited by commuters in D. The lifestyle here is too systematic and riddled with technology that there is no sense of community. With its relatively low student population, its tight-knit community, a 9:1 student-to-faculty ratio, rich history and most importantly, its unparalleled tranquility, Brown will quell the nostalgia for the quiet life I used to lead.
ok as a read through it it needs more details and why certains happened and add more information about being nomad. and what are a,b,c,d tell of the places instead of letters!
This is great! I think you can get away without naming the places or elaborating on why you moved. The short answer component is largely satisfied by demonstrating that you know about the university and have picked out characteristics that separate it from others. I think you've done a great job with this. My only advice is that "the lifestyle here" is somewhat vague and I briefly thought you might have been referring to Brown. You obviously aren't, but I think it might be constructive to say "the lifestyle here in D is too..."
Your "nostalgia for the quiet life" is fine, but again, it may be constructive to note early on at which location you were able to bask in and enjoy this quiet life. I know you're tight on available characters, but if you can somehow work that in, I think it'd help out quite a bit.
I don't think it sounds convincing to me. All the literal art colleges are quieter than Brown, and Brown students' passions and vigors can never make campus life quiet. I think it's useless to talk so much about your nomadic life in such a sketchy manner. For me I'll keep only the first two sentences and simply say I want to settle down in Brown's unique community.
I agree with Xiaomeng Xia.
I've never been to Brown, but if Brown is indeed a quiet place, I don't think it is a unique characteristic of Brown.There are many other colleges that are located in suburb or rural areas, far away from cities.
Good luck!
