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'Radiography and passion to help others' - admissions essay

harmony 1 / 1  
Apr 10, 2012   #1
I have been writing and rewriting my entrance narrative essay for what seems like forever and am starting to panic. I first believed a narrative was a story to bring them into the day that shaped why I wanted to be a radiographer, but I guess I was wrong by looking at sample essays. Mine was more of a creative essay. This is an introduction I've come up with. PLEASE! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

The instructions are: The essay should include what influenced your decision to choose the Radiologic Technology Program and/or describe what you hope/expect to get out of this program.

What do you want to be when you grow up? This question is often asked of us at an early age and continues to haunt many throughout their academic careers. For me, the answer is simple, in fact, my choice to be a radiographer one day was decided July 4, 1988 with my introduction to a soldier named Wendy. Even though I have always been very passionate about helping others, this day carved a path I have continued to follow to this day.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Apr 10, 2012   #2
First of all, you are not "wrong" by being honest. And if your passionate feelings and discussion about the career you wish to have is creative, that is wonderful. I don't believe that just because others' statements may have been more scientific and direct (or whatever you noticed about them that differed from yours) makes yours inadequate. Upon reading your introduction I was impressed and was curious about the rest of it! I think you should stop second-guessing yourself and follow your heart. How can that be wrong? :)

This looks great so far. Good luck!!
OP harmony 1 / 1  
Apr 11, 2012   #3
Thank you Susan for your response.

Here is my finished essay. I would appreciate any feedback ;-)

What do you want to be when you grow up? This question is often asked of us at an early age and continues to haunt many throughout their academic careers. As a child growing up around a nurse, compassion for the world around me was instilled at a young age. From rescuing stray animals, to being the only twelve year old volunteer at a local elderly shelter, I was destined to help in some way one day. Throughout my youth I held onto that dream, believing I could decide exactly what I wanted to be while I was in college, until at fifteen I became a mother. In spite of this, my passion to help others, graduate high school and attend college continued to burn brightly. July 4, 1988 will always hold a special place in my heart, as it was the day I decided to become a radiographer. Even though my dream was put on hold, this day carved a path I have continued to follow to this day.

June of 1988, my daughter and I went to spend a month with my brother in Fort Campbell, Kentucky. During this time we frequented a public pool and soon befriended a soldier named Wendy, who was also a single mother. Wendy and I spent many hours at the pool talking about our lives; moreover, I had learned that she was a radiologist who truly loved her profession. Wendy spoke of her job with such passion, in fact, she reminded me of a proud mother speaking of her child. One particular day Wendy asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Immediately I replied, "Help people!" She then smiled and invited me to watch her in the radiology department on the fourth of July, which I eagerly accepted.

After much anticipation, July 4th finally arrived. Most kids my age were excited about the carnival that was happening on Fort Campbell that day, or the huge firework presentation with the blue angels flying over later that night, but not me. I was thrilled knowing I would spend my day seeing what excited Wendy so much to go to work every day. As I followed her around for the day, I couldn't help but feel as if this was where I belonged. I found that I truly enjoyed watching what Wendy did for a living; furthermore, I relished the feeling that I could help people one day. I could picture myself standing in her shoes and this was exhilarating to me, the same way a bride that finds the perfect dress feels. As I continued to follow her, I had the opportunity to observe ultrasound, magnetic resonance imagining, and computerized tomography procedures which were truly amazing to me. To learn that ultrasounds were made with sound, or magnet and radio waves created magnetic resonance images fascinated me. I found that Wendy had highly developed communication skills as well as patient care being her top priority. This gave me such pride to know someone with such high standards. The day sadly came to an end; however, I left her department with a purpose, a goal that one day I would go to college and follow in Wendy's footsteps.

I would go home after my visit with a renewed goal to graduate high school and major in medical imaging when I entered college. I eagerly started college in the fall of 1990; however, another pregnancy ensued, as well as, an abusive husband. I attended classes vigilantly all the while keeping my goal in the back of my mind. It only took one semester before the pressures I was enduring would take their toll and I was forced to withdraw. Although I had to walk away from college after the first semester, that goal stayed in the back of my mind.

The years passed by. A divorce, another marriage, and still that goal echoed "never forget." Throughout the years I would help people by becoming a dental assistant all the while remembering what Wendy had taught me. Bitewings and panoramic x-rays would become my constant reminder of the joy I felt that special day in July. . Even though my dream was put on hold, July 4, 1988 answered my question. Simply put, I want to be a radiographer.

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