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"I want to be raised by aliens" - Brandeis supplement

basketball 7 / 35  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
If you could choose to be raised by robots, dinosaurs, or aliens, who would you pick? Why?
If I have a choice to be raised by robots, dinosaurs, or aliens, I would pick aliens. First, I think that being raised by an alien, I will have the chance to learn a whole new culture. I am the type of person who wants to learn new and excited things. Maybe I wouldn't have spaghetti or lasagna to eat but some weird fruit that aliens raise; or maybe I wouldn't sleep the whole day by drinking a medicine that provides me energy to stay up whole day. Overall, it just exciting to experience all these new things that I cannot know what exactly is. Second, I want to be the bridge between humans and aliens. Nowadays, despite the fact that scientists try really hard to get clues about aliens, we are unable of finding any significant information. If I was raised by aliens, I can introduce them to our humans' race, helping humans to get a better understanding about aliens and solve humans curiosity about the question: "Do aliens existed?". Moreover, like Ian O'Neill said: "imagine if a more advanced civilization sees Earth as a bountiful supply of sustenance and sees our civilization as nothing more than ants crawling over a big juicy apple. Wouldn't they just wash us off?". If unfortunately one day, aliens decided to attack humans, I will try my best to mediate a peace so that our human's race won't come to an end.

So what do you guys think? I will apply this school soon so any comments are appreciated.. Thanks a lot
nritya 6 / 22  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
It seems very rushed. I would not begin by restating the prompt (which is essentially what you have done). Maybe you should try a more creative beginning - something like:

Every day, I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth and get dressed, and then head off to school. Afterwards, I might work on some homework, eat some lasagna, do the dishes, and fall asleep, only to do it all again the next day. The prospect of being raised by aliens brings to mind so many other possibilities beyond just the boring routine I've known all my life - I could blah blah blah discuss things about aliens blah

get it?
OP basketball 7 / 35  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
Hey, thank you very much and I will revise it :D
any other comments, thanks
yadda514 4 / 16  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
instead of using first second overall, I would reccommend to start the sentance off in an more interesting way
for example you could write: The experiance I would have with the aliens would be far more exciting than hanging out with tin boxes or gigantic reptiles. Growing up with aliens would put me ahead of everyone else, as no one has ever had any experiance with them. I would introduce the aliens to my biological relatives and hopefully create a lasting bond between the two races creating an intergallactic alliance.

- If you are raised by aliens how will you know about humans?
- I would maybe change up your word choice to make it seem more mysterious, mystical, sci fi

Dont worry about sounding proffesional, the question obviously is looking for creative crazy insane ideas :)

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