I tried to make sure I covered the requirements as directly and completely as possible. However, I wonder if it is too long, covers too many subjects, etc... Please give me any feedback you can and I will be very thankful!
A. Academic Elements (required)
* Academic History
o Tell us about your college career to date, describing your performance, educational path and choices.
o Explain any situations that may have had a significant positive or negative impact on your academic progress and/or curricular choices. If you transferred multiple times, had a significant break in your education, or changed career paths, explain.
o What are the specific reasons you wish to leave your most recent college/university and/or program of study?
* Your Major and/or Career Goals
o Tell us about your intended major and career aspirations.
* Are you prepared to enter your intended major at this time? If not, describe your plans for preparing for the major. What led you to choose this major? If you are still undecided, why? What type of career are you most likely to pursue after finishing your education?
* How will the UW help you attain your academic, career, and/or personal goals?
B. Personal Elements (required)
*Cultural Understanding
o Thoughtfully describe the ways in which culture had an impact on your life and what you have learned about yourself and society as a result. How has your own cultural history enriched and/or challenged you?
* Community, Military, or Volunteer Service (if applicable)
o Describe your community, Military, or volunteer service, including leadership, awards, or increased levels of responsibility.
* Experiential Learning (if applicable)
o Describe your involvement in research, artistic endeavors, and work (paid or volunteer), as they have contributed to your academic, career or personal goals.
II. Personal Statement Format
Content as well as form, spelling, grammar, and punctuation, will be considered. Suggested length is 2 to 4 pages double-spaced.
PERSONAL STATEMENT - UW TRANSFER APPLICATION
(temporarily untitled)
An important influence on my life who shaped much of who I am today was my father. He was a mechanic but our family struggled to make ends meet. However, life would change when my older sister had heart failures. The surgeons did everything in their power to help her but within just days she had passed on. While I was too young to remember my sister, these events had changed my father and led him to pursue a career in medicine. For the next seven years I watched as my father struggled through University, staying up late at night as he studied for tests, or would work graveyard shifts in the hospital until he finished his residency to become a family physician. It was a very stressful time in our family as funds were short. My mother began working once I was old enough for day care which gave me the opportunity to learn the values of hard work and dedication from both my parents growing up.
My cultural experience from being raised in Canada gave me a strong sense of environmental awareness. Every year my elementary school would win a green award for recycling and using recycled materials. There I was taught the importance of not being wasteful, conserving valuable resources, and keeping the outdoors free of litter. Being in Canada also exposed me to many different cultures such as the French and the Native Americans who were celebrated and I learned how to appreciate other cultures at an early age. These experiences gave me a couple valuable assets that prepared me for the future. One asset is that the world will need more environmentally minded people in order to preserve it. The other is that as globalization continues to grow, people need to find common ground and hurdle cultural barriers in order to work together. As part of my later youth I participated in the Boy Scouts organization where I was given a position of leadership and responsibility as Venture Team Captain. I organized and coordinated community service projects such as yard cleaning for the elderly, park beautification, hiking trail maintenance, visiting senior centers, and repainting over graffiti.
Soon after my father finished his residency our family immigrated to the United States which is where I began my exciting journey into computer programming at the age of eleven. I had a burning desire to create video games at the time and started out using simple applications like "Gamemaker". However, that was not enough of a challenge for me. I had learned some of the basics of video game programming and was eager to learn more. By the age of fifteen I began to teach myself more advanced programming languages such as C# so that I could create more advanced games. It was a very steep learning curve but I was so motivated that nothing could deter me and I succeeded.
It was at this time that I began to seriously consider future career paths and was led by my computer talents to choose between computer science or computer engineering which left me in a big dilemma. I finally settled on computer engineering because of the wider variety of career options available, ranging from cars and robots to airplanes and cell phones. I realized that computer engineering would utilize skills I had learned from video game programming, but would allow me to find many different applications.
My intended major of Computer Engineering is currently one of the leading industry fields and is in high demand. It is a hybrid between electronics engineering and computer science. My goal is to complete a master's degree then work at a technology company such as Microsoft or wherever I can find interesting opportunities. Once I have gained enough experience, I wish to start my own company and focus on green technology solutions that will benefit society. I'm not prepared to enter the major immediately because my previous college did not offer all the required courses. However, I am very close to starting because it will only take one quarter of classes at UW for me to gain all that is required before entering my major.
My college career began when I was sixteen and entered the Washington State Running Start program. I was concerned about the transition as I had been doing home-school before but I found that it was a strength and not a weakness because I learned how to independently study. I was determined to succeed so I could reach my goals. Using the values I had learned from my parents about hard work, I consistently stayed on either the Dean's list or the President's list every quarter and in two years I completed my Associates of Arts & Science with honors. I saw the Running Start program as a chance to challenge myself and get a jump start for my future career. I knew as I entered the Running Start program that I wanted to transfer to the Computer Engineering program which led me to take rigorous courses and heavy course loads. I did this not only to meet as many requirements as possible in a short period of time, but to prepare myself for the challenge of attending a full four year university.
While at YVCC I had the opportunity to work on a series of research projects. It was the goal of my physics professor, that his students were able to do their own research, come to a scientific conclusion, and then present our results in class in front of the deans and teachers from the math and science faculty. This was a great experiential learning process as I used these opportunities to apply my computer knowledge. In one project I analyzed the motion of a hand carved wooden rattleback (a semi-ellipsoid which spins in only one direction) by embedding a Nintendo Wiimote inside of it and created my own software to record, capture, and graph the data in real time. For my last project I created a basic n-body simulation (similar to the big bang) and demonstrated the power of using a graphics card over a traditional CPU based implementation. This gave me confidence and experience that laid a foundation for future academic research projects and to help guide my career.
My experience of working hard and achieving success has shown me that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. My goals have not swayed and my motivation is consistently high. I believe that University of Washington will play a key part in building my career. The high level of curriculum will prepare me for the challenges I will face in future professions. The location is a prime area for networking, making industry contacts, and internships and I hope that it will be a launch pad for me to begin an exciting future in computer engineering.
Brandon....really cool essay. You have personalized it well without boasting. Its a good essay.
OK.
What is the word limit? I just get the feeling that its a little longish essay. But that's not great deal.
However, life would change when my older sister had heart failures.
Its wrong. However, life had changed when my.... so on.
Its seriously good essay and a very clean and simple one too. Really good job. :)
PS: If you can, please review my essay also. Thanks.
I find some grammer mistakes in the first paragraph;
An important influence on my life whothat shaped much of who I am today was my father. He was a mechanic but our family struggled to make ends meet. However, life would changechanged when my older sister had heart failures. The surgeons did everything inwithin their power to help her but within just few days she had passed onaway . While I was too young to remember my sister.tThese This eventshad changed my father and ledhe began tohim to pursue a career in medicine. For During the next seven years I watched as my father struggledstrugglingthroughat the University, ;staying up late at night as he studied for tests , or would working graveyard shifts in the hospital graveyards until he finished his residency to become a family physician. (consider re-writing this sentence as it is too long and your idea doesn't flow properly) . It was a very stressful time infor our family asdue to short of fundswere short . My mother began working once I was old enough forto be at the day care.While growing up I learnt which gave me the opportunity to learn the values of hard work and dedication from both my parents growing up .
I feel that you should rewrite this para as it is the opening paragraph. Try to arrange ideas again to give it a better flow .
An important influence on my life who shaped much of who I am today was My father was a mechanic who struggled to make ends meet for our family. However, life would change when my older sister had heart failure .
The surgeons did everything in their power to help her but within just days she had passed on. While I was too young to remember my sister, these events had changed my father and led him to pursue a career in medicine. For the next seven years I watched as ... ----this whole section is very great. I think it's excellent writing.
Break the sentence down to check the verbs:
For the next seven years I watched as my father struggled through University, staying ----->or would work working graveyard shifts in the hospital until he finished his residency to become a family physician. (staying or working)
:-)
