Hello! I am applying to the Eugene Lang liberal College of NY. They do look a lot your essay, so I hope that somebody could help me to edit mine.
Thanks a lot!
P.S. This is a Common App prompt Im using: "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
It was a cold October morning, and there was snow in the streets of Moscow. The year was 1991 and two months after the Soviet Union coup attempt failed; a fighter was born.
When I turned three years old, my open minded, strong and hero mother made the decision to escape the cold and dangerous Metropolis. Without thinking over too much, she took her two daughters, jumped in our "Made in USSR" Lada and headed West.
We have been raised in the multicultural hippy island of Ibiza, Spain. My childhood went by very fast. My little sister and I were careless free and happily dressed in white, surrounded by artists and people who like us, decided to start a new page in their lives.
Returning as a teenager to Russia was hard, deep inside I felt that my home was back in Europe. After finishing school with excellent grades, at the age of eighteen I made the decision to return and landed in Madrid to begin my education in the art of film.
Two months after, something unexpected happened. I have been "discovered" in the strangest place ever, while shopping in the pharmacy around the corner, a woman came across and asked me with a strong french accent, "Are you a model?" The lady explained to me that she worked as a booker in a modelling agency in Paris.
I visioned it as great opportunity to have a work experience and to earn some extra money. After finishing my academic year, I was encouraged by the modelling agency to drop my studies because they saw enormous potential in me and told me that work would become my priority. I signed with a big agency that promised me big dreams, made my suitcase and started my adventure.
My first stop was Milan. Completely alone with my suitcase, I had to learn how to travel, cook and basically survive in a foreign country by myself, with no other choice than becoming an adult. After three weeks of running around the city and going to hundreds of castings, I was feeling desperate and very lonely. Discovering that I joined the competitive and cruel world of the fashion business, understanding as a teenager that if you don't want to be eaten, you must become strong and begin to accept rejection.
I was about to give up, when my lucky chance came across; I got my first job and no more and no less than for Mr. Armani. After that, my career took of like a space rocket.
Travelling and living between planes and hotels, jumping from big city studios to exotic locations, every single time the feeling was like my first day of school, surrounded long hours by total strangers.
I became a living doll, whose decisions were made by someone else. I fell under the spell of modelling business, and besides that I was in debt with the agency because they would charge you for everything, expensive plane tickets, apartments and drivers. In the other hand, the designers often paid in trade, offering clothes instead of money. And right there, before my twenties, I was completely exhausted physically and emotionally.
Four years of travelling all over the world, seeing how diverse it is. Working with the best professionals in the industry thanks to who I gained an amazing life experience. I learned the value of money and to understand my human rights.
With the time, I realised the injustices and betrays i have been facing, and that Fashion is a kind of an illusion, that changes every new season, and in the end, you just become disposable.
I will turn 22 this month, and seeing my classmate's graduating made me think. Do I regret the fact that I changed my life so drastically? Well, I know that we cant change the past, but I do certainly know, that I can build my future.
Without thinking over too much, she took her two daughters, jumped in our "Made in USSR" Lada and headed West.
Without any serious ponder, she packed everything, got her two daughters in her "Made in USSR" Lada and drove heading the West.My little sister and I were careless free and happily dressed in white, surrounded by artists and people who like us, decided to start a new page in their lives.
I feel it's better you improve the flow of the latter part. It seems you have a few ideas packed together and they don't flow freely in a logical manner. So, I like if you re-phrase that part.
