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'raised in a single parent home' - Stanford- Intellectual development


22kcox 5 / 22  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development

Being raised in a single parent home, along with moving to multiple locations across the nation, it would be expected that it would take a giant vat of radioactive waste to disintegrate the bond that holds my family together. In my life, my family is the key to triggering my intellectual development. In particular, my brother is most responsible for initiating my intellectual development.

My brother, Timothy, only eleven months younger than I am, is in the same grade as me. Naturally, since we are so close in age, we are highly competitive with one another. Ever since we were little we compared grades, test scores, and even reading speed. We constantly pushed each other and challenged each other's knowledge.

Our competitive nature continued as we grew. We dominated dinner table discussion with debates, using "all-knowing" Mom to end the disputes until the debates became so knowledgably demanding that only Google truly had all the answers. I distinctly remember deliberations over topics ranging broadly from whether or not milk was hydrating to the limit of the function 4x over 2x as x approaches infinity.

The pure joy of knowledge is the true motivation behind our constant intellectual contests. On long car rides, or when we were just bored Timothy and I would play "The Category Game" which we made up just for fun. The rules were simple: decide on category, and then go back and forth naming items in the category until someone could not come up with any more items. The categories were generally broad such as countries in the world, reptiles, or even movies with Will Smith, and would therefore last awhile with only each other to hold us accountable and always a resource nearby just in case.

The competition between Timothy and I, and also, our natural desire to learn compels us to expand our intellectual development. The pure joy of knowing is what truly motivates me -to have a deeper understanding of this enormous universe, on this strange life supporting planet, we all call home.

I would truly appreciate your opinions! I appreciate taking time to read it! let me know if you have something you would want me to read, maybe i can help?
tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
All i have to say is WOW. This is truly, in my opinion, one of the most personal, and most interesting and enjoyable essays I have read. I think family is one of the most generic topics that people use, but you make it really interesting =)

However, I think your "brother" isn't really an experience. Maybe if you said, your "competitions with your brother" as an experience that initiated your intellectual development would answer the prompt more directly.

Just one correction here:

giant vat of radioactive waste to disintegrate the bond <--- the wording there is kind of awkward when I read it. The idea you have is great, but I think in the beginning of an essay, starting out with this kind of vocabulary is , I think, kind of awkward. Maybe just using another word or just going simple with It would take time to break the bond or something.

=) Good luck and good job!
OP 22kcox 5 / 22  
Dec 23, 2011   #3
Wow Thanks! i'll try and work out the intro, and i agree it doesn't really address the prompt directly...
I appreciate youre help!
laspinadenise 2 / 10  
Dec 24, 2011   #4
i agree with cookie! the vat sentence is very awkward but this essay is awesome!

living in a one family home, moving across the nation, i would actually expect family to not matter as much. i think when you go over that you should state immediate family. but this is very good!
OP 22kcox 5 / 22  
Dec 24, 2011   #5
NEW EDITED VERSION :) HAVE AT IT :)

The quest for understanding is not recommended for those who lack persistence. In my life, my family is the key to triggering my thirst for knowledge, especially my brother. Our constant scholarly disputes have been the experiences most important to my own intellectual development.

My brother, Timothy, only eleven months younger than I am, is in the same grade as me. Naturally, since we are so close in age, we are highly competitive with one another. Ever since we were little, we compared grades, test scores, and even reading speed. We constantly pushed each other and challenged each other's knowledge.

Our competitive nature heightened as we grew older. We dominated dinner table discussion with debates, using "all-knowing" Mom to end the disputes until the debates became so knowledgably demanding that only Google truly had all the answers. I distinctly remember deliberations over a broad range of topics from whether or not milk hydrates to the limit of the function 4x over 2x as x approaches infinity.

The need to know more is the true motivation behind our constant intellectual contests. On long car rides, or when we were just bored Timothy and I would play "The Category Game" which we made up just for fun. The rules were simple: decide on a category, and then go back and forth naming items in that category until someone could not come up with any more items. The categories were generally broad such as countries in the world, reptiles, or even movies with Will Smith, and would therefore last awhile, always holding each other accountable and always a resource nearby just in case.

This mental tennis match I have experienced with Timothy over the years has cultivated my desire to learn and contributed to my intellectual development. The pure joy of knowledge is what truly motivates me -to have a deeper understanding of this enormous universe, on this strange life-supporting planet, we all call home.

Thanks again for everything!
hahahohohe 1 / 17  
Dec 24, 2011   #6
is ur essay abit too long?

word limit is 2000 characters WITH spaces...
Monisaahmed 1 / 4  
Dec 24, 2011   #7
I read both your original and revised version of the essay and I think it's fantastic. It's very personal, directly related to the topic, and a good experience.

You could possibly use some better diction, possibly instead of "when we were just bored", you could say "in times of exasperating boredom" or something similar. Same thing with the quest for knowledge, you could call it 'insatiable' to better convey how much you thrive for knowledge, and how your brother made that happen.

Overall I think its great and after the revision, no ideas need altering.
OP 22kcox 5 / 22  
Dec 25, 2011   #8
I like the word changes! any more?


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