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I have been raised very traditionally; Tufts: Let your life Speak essay

epirote901 4 / 8  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
I feel like this essay is really redundant and I'm just rambling. Also, I'm not sure if I should have put this essay in story form to illustrate the traditional values of my family. Anywy, any comments much appreciated!!

There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200 words)

My mother's parents and brother were born in rural Greece, and their intense traditional ways and mindsets were passed down to my mother. The same goes for my father. From a strict Irish Catholic upbringing, he learned that the worst offense was to disobey. Because of my parent's intense upbringings, my sister and I have been raised very traditionally, with values of education, hard work, determination, frugalness, and obedience. We were taught to live within our means, the importance of a good education, and that failure was never an option. Because of such a traditional upbringing, in which church was attended every Sunday, I see myself as much more conservative than many of my peers. Living in the suburbs of New York City, traditionally liberal in its political and social views, my views of life are at times radically different from many of my fellow students. Nevertheless, I have many friends with both liberal and conservative views and have found that diversity of opinion is a positive experience. Sometimes it's difficult to have parent's that are pushing you every step of the way, but if I could change them, I wouldn't do a thing.

lillyforlunch 2 / 7  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
hey diana.. be confident! I really think this essay has a nice message.
I love how you ended it.

Here's a little grammatical error I found:

Because of my parents intense upbringings,

Sometimes its difficult to have parents that are pushing you every step of the way...

Try to start it with a little anecdote or even a quote by one of your family members...

hope that helps!

PS could you review my essay? I'm also applying to Tufts!
snorlaxative 4 / 17  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
"it's" is correct. "its" refers to the possessive
"parents'" would be the correct term here.

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