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RAP music: Tufts supplement: What makes you tick

gretchenk 5 / 14  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Hey, this is my tufts supplement. please help me revise! thank you!

3. For some, it's politics or sports or reading. For others, it may be researching solar power fuel cells or arranging hip-hop mash-ups. What makes you tick? (200-250 words)

Rap music is my great passion. I believe that Rap is the poetry of the 21st century, and unfortunately underestimated by a lot of people. What many do not know is that Rap Music features as much figurative language as any Shakespearean sonnet or William Blake poem. Whether it is Common using the description of a woman as an analogy to Hip Hop itself, or Talib Kweli referring to Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, Rap's complexity never ceases to amaze me.

Rap is much more than a genre exclusively characterized by indecency and rudeness.
With ist roots anchored in African music, influenced by jazz poetry and finally emerged in the 1970's in New York City, Rap is a music genre so rich and unique in history, I wish there was a library solely dedicated to Rap music.

Rap plays a big role in my life, as I work for a concert agency and often get free tickets to concerts. These shows will later make up the topic for the articles I write for the music section of our school's newspaper. Rap Music is my great passion and I can already imagine walking to my class at Tufts, with my I-pod speakers plugged in, listening to Nas' "I Can".

"You can be anything in the world, in God we trust, an architect, doctor, maybe an actress; But nothing comes easy it takes much practice..."

ninasen17 3 / 4  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
With istits roots anchored in African
history,. I wish there

good response to the prompt. try to make it more about you though. and don't let them know that you get free tickets. this makes it seem that you go to these concerts simply because you didn't have to pay for them.
canes4life 3 / 47  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
Hi I liked how you related your topic to something you want to be involved in when you get to Tufts. However, I found some typos in your essay. I don't think that you need to capitalize rap music.

Also "With ist roots. . ." should be "With its roots"

I think it might be a good idea to include an example of the figurative lyrics you speak of for those unfamiliar with rap music like myself. But I see that 200 words is not much space so if you don't have room that's ok too.

Please read my essay. It is the one about UNC best advice received or given.

Thanks and good luck to you!
caboard493 5 / 10  
Dec 31, 2010   #4
Firstly, I love this response. I enjoy the way you depict the ironic beauty of rap.

This should be a separate sentence, to prevent a run-on:
"I wish there was a library solely dedicated to Rap music." The vocabulary of the essay is nice bout you could use a different word instead of nice.

And also your final paragraph should be stronger and more focused on you to wrap up such a nice essay.
Good luck, I really like where this is going. It's unique.

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