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'A rat's race' - Stanford Essay-What matters most to you and why?


Amy95 1 / 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Hello everyone,
I'm completely new to this. I just recently finished my Stanford application and I was wondering if I can get some feedback on my essy for the "What matters most to you and why" prompt. I wrote this in a haste and I'm really worried about it, but whatever happens happens.

Any help is much appreciated. Thank you in advance! (:

We live life like it's a race, like we have to go as fast as possible and get as much done as possible. One is constantly on the go: wake up in the morning, go to work or school, come home and do what we must do, tuck ourselves in at night and get ready for another day. We are constantly blindsided by technology-texts, phone calls, and email's. But many don't take moments to stop and enjoy the smaller things in life and take time to reflect.

To me these moments of reflection, these moments of pausing, are most important. The moments I take to bake cookies with my little sister and see the smile on her face, the moments I take to have a walk on the beach, breathe in fresh air and have the wind brush my skin. The moments I take to repose after a long day and run as fast as I can in a nature filled park. These are all moments that I need to survive, so I know that I'm not a robot going through the motions.

The most truthful and inspirational quote I've ever heard is, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away." - Hilary Cooper

It's true. Life brings the most happiness and meaning when it's fulfilled by the events that make us laugh, that inspire us, give us that feeling of inner achievement, worth, and placidity.
GAS1995 3 / 7  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
Hey ! I love your essay choice because it's evident that, taking moments to just slow down and reflect is important to you. Overall I think you did a good job but I would perhaps rephrase: 'One is constantly on the go: wake up in the morning, go to work or school, come home and do what we must do, tuck ourselves in at night and get ready for another day' to 'One is constantly on the go: wake up in the morning, go to work or school, come home and finish one's daily obligations, tuck oneself in at night and get ready for another day.' Wonderful job though !

I'm applying to Stanford as well and I would really appreciate if you read through 2 of my essays ! Please and thank-you !


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