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[ my favorite time of the day]
We all reach that peak in a day when we feel invincible: Maybe it is in sometime at the morning, at the noon, or at the night.
This is mine.
It's still a bit dark outside, and everyone else is sleeping. I have three to four hours before my day really begins. I am a bit scared for the monsters from horror movies to appear before me, but there's much to be done before daybreak!
Things to do:
- CLEAN THE HOUSE
- Wash the leftover dishes from last night and from earlier this morning
- Sweep and Mop the floor
- Hype-up
- Walk Koko ( Chihuahua, a gift from my godfather when I was 14) to let her do her "business"
- Cardio exercises and Yoga in a span of 15minutes to 1 hour
- Get Ready for the day
- DOUBLE CHECK
- If homework due for the day are finished
- If all materials needed for the day are in the bag
- Cook meals for breakfast and lunch
- If there's 1-2 hours before 5:00 am , I experiment my meals ( my all time favorite project: baked veggie "versacheese" mixed vegetables in layers of various kinds of cheese)
- Wash dishes after the kitchenware have been utilized.
These mundane tasks help me get through the complexities in work as I encounter customers with different personalities. I remember the tranquility I have felt when I do yoga. When the clock ticks in school during a test or when the lesson becomes ungraspable to me, I get motivated to seek help to understand the lesson and calm when I take the tests because I have done so many things before the day began.
No matter how taxing yesterday may be, I wake up to this new day with purpose to live, to appreciate, and to learn. Although, I have some days when I wake up 30 minutes before or sometimes even late due to prior events. On those days, I am easily agitated; I can't comprehend what the teacher from my morning class is saying for I am still flustered from the morning rush. From then on, I adjust my time at night and at the morning, in order for me to stay calm throughout the next day.
This essay is alright but does not really present the reason as to why daybreak is your favorite time of the day. I mean, there are so many errands in that list that it seems like you are just tiring yourself out. Would you care to try a different approach to writing? Perhaps you can discuss these activities as a part of the reason why you love daybreak. Say something about how these activities help you get a moment to yourself and have internal conversations with yourself wherein you reflect upon your life, its problems, tribulations, and successes, then contemplate how your life will be in the future. Talk about how waking up at daybreak signifies hope for your future or something. Give us a more serious reason to understand why this is your favorite time of the day :-)
[ my favorite time of the day]
...
I think you did a great job on the second version of your essay. I like it a lot better than the first.
I think your original version is actually quite unique and eye-catching. But I agree with @vangiespen that the theme is not clear enough. The second version sounds indeed much better, but to improve it I think you can try to incorporate some ideas from your first version, it will add creativity into your essay and make it stand out.
Won't comment on grammars tho cuz I suck at that haha
thanks for your help!
I did your suggestion. Instead of adding the symbols though, I decided to put it in a sandwich like a proper beginning to my activities and then an ending to it.
here's a revision :) < the one in blue is what I've recently added, I had omitted some stuff because it seemed to only lengthen but didn't add anything to the essay>
[ my favorite time of the day]
We all reach that peak in a day when we feel invincible: Maybe it is in sometime at the morning, at the noon, or at the night. This is mine.
It's still a bit dark outside, and everyone else is sleeping. At this moment- I'm in my own realm.
It's time to begin.
I head to the dining area to get the leftover dishes and wash it. After the dishes, I clean the houses by sweeping and mopping. Minutes pass, I'm done. I look at what I have achieved so far at the start of my day. I feel... fulfilled and cleansed as the house is clean compared to its earlier state.
After the house is cleaned, I walk my dog to the garden at the 7th floor of the condominium. I stare at the horizon where the harbor is seen with its lights on and the movement of containers as they are being moved from one lot to another. I gaze towards the neighboring buildings- a concrete jungle with all its creatures asleep. There's no rush from cars, just cars heading home or beginning to head to work. People from the streets of Binondo sweep the littered trash from the precedent night.
Moments after I assimilate my surrounding, I look at my dog, and I think back of the people I've met. I am grateful for our relationships which have been made and have been lost. A day to amend relationships, a day to accept what cannot be mended anymore, a day to be grateful for the things I have learned from these people. I ponder on our interactions- What can I improve on and what is there to change? Today is a new beginning, an opportunity to be a better me as the person who I was yesterday.
It's time to go back home. I check the clock, there's still an hour and a half before I shower. I bring out the yoga mat. Commence Exercise. I close my eyes and breathe deeply- seconds later, I become aware of myself. I feel the tension of my biceps as I stretch my arms towards the sky and bend towards the right. I breathe in more and exhale as I become more immersed in the varied yoga poses and circuits.
Everything's done, the sun is rising from this side of the world.
I feel more alive and ready for the fortuitous events ahead. On occasions when I don't get to do these activities, focusing becomes a dilemma. I leave the house in a rush as there's a two hour travel time from home to school. There's a nudge in the back of my head because I didn't do things I've usually done. My heart is beating too fast from anxiety once I reach school. At the end, I resolve to exercise or build castles in the sky to assess myself, subsequently losing precious time for studying before classes get started.
There's no other time for me than before dawn to introspect and to be productive as I live for the present and towards the future unknown.
The introspection is very strong and an admirable trait. However, what does "build castles in the sky" mean? I feel confused about the last paragraph and sentence. I kind of understand what you are saying, but the sentence structure is a bit muddled. First you state your anxiety, but then that you take time out of the rest of your day to complete those introspective actions? I just want to be sure I am not misreading you.
@Puppytime building castles in the sky is an idiom for day dream. :)
I was showing a side when I don't do my usual activities that it leads to anxiety. In the end, I'll have my own introspection on the time that I have to do something important so that I can focus back on the task at hand which then leads to more time loss than time utilized for the activity. :D
Okay, I think I understand now. I still think that last section could be more clear. Perhaps instead of "assess", "re-center" would be better because instead of cracking on with work in a fragile state mind you are using the time to come to terms with yourself.
