Hey guys. :)
This is my essay which will be part of my application to NUS this year. It's bit long, it should be 2000 characters*including spaces* and i need your help in removing the unnecessary bits. Also, if you could help me improve by pointing out any grammatical errors and other mistakes, it would be great. Thanks in advance!
Q.This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.
As your essay is limited to 2000 characters, do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.
A:
In a simple sentence, curiosity is what defines me. It runs through my veins, and I cannot sit tight without getting answers to the questions that keep popping up in my head. Ever since I was a kid, life's mysteries intrigued me. Why does it rain? Why can't I see the wind? Why is the sky blue? Where does electricity come from? What makes the clock tick? How does the TV work?- My parents and my elder sister often got irritated answering the constant stream of questions that flowed from me. As a result, I was introduced to the world of books and to this day I'm a voracious reader, devouring novels, autobiographies and scientific journals alike.
My school teachers also encouraged me, and the habit of reading got translated into academic excellence. I have performed well throughout my academic life, consistently finishing in the top three of my class. I topped it off with an aggregate of 97% in my class 12 CBSE board exams, topping the school and finishing in the top 0.1% of the country, as a consequence of which I received a special scholarship letter from CBSE.
Because of my desire to know more, I have also been involved in a number of extra curriculars throughout my school life. My key area of interest is Quizzing, and I have been an active quizzer towards the latter stages of my academic life. This natural desire to know more has translated into a desire to express what I know, and quizzing and debating are the two outlets I use to channel my thoughts outward. My interest in particular lies in business quizzing, and I am currently preparing for Tata Crucible, one of the biggest business quizzes in India and even the World.
The journey in the world of quizzes began early when I took part in intra school events. I did well, but there was little impetus to quiz competitively. A particular incident which shaped my desire to excel in quizzing was my participation in TCS IT Wiz, a nationwide IT quiz. One of the biggest events in the school quizzing scene, I was encouraged to prepare for the event by my seniors and computer science teachers. My partner and I prepare well, and we barely missed out on qualifying for th on stage round of the Delhi leg of the event. The quality of the event impressed me and since then I have never looked back- winning numerous event at the the school level and more recently at the college level(with my present college).
Another one of my interests is Photography. As a member of my college photography club, I have taken part in numerous photo walks in and around my home city of Delhi.
If I am admitted to NUS, I promise to strive towards the very best so that I can satisfy my zeal to achieve and justify my position as student at one of the most prestigious Universities in the world.
Hi VinayakM,
I see lots of help has been provided to you by Did geridoo with regard to cutting your word count. So, I am not going to give my suggestions in that respect :)
However, I have a concern;
You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.
I feel this asks you to talk about some activity (in your case , you have chosen reading, Quiz and photography) that is relevant to the course you are applying for. However, you do not show how they are relevant to your major. Very little, if not at all, is spoken in this regard. Tell them how you relate these activities to intended studies at the uni :)
