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"reality and fantasy" - UC prompt #1 - my world


mcsingson /  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from--for example, your family, community or school--and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My world is split in two: real and fantasy. The real part of my world contains a rowdy household and multicultural hangouts, and in the fantasy world there is an adventure full of unexplored lands and new characters to meet.

Coming from a household of seven people, life can be chaotic--but that is what makes life interesting. My four younger sisters are unpredictable. It is impossible for me to predict what kind of quarrel will ensue, whether it is a brawl over the TV remote or a yelling-match when there is no more hot water in the shower. There is always a change of plans with so many people doing so many things. But however hectic my household can be, it is because of my family that I appreciate spontaneity. It's more fun to not having everything planned out and to have life surprise me every once in awhile. Of course, there is structure in my life and my family does take responsibility seriously--but never expect us to be on time for a party.

To further fuel my enjoyment of spontaneity and excitement, I found a fantasy world in books, where nothing was predictable and there were so many different characters to meet. As a child I would find adventure in the silly stories of Dr. Seuss or the fantastical world of Harry Potter, and the stories never ceased to amaze me. Even as I grew older, I grew out of those fantasy tales, but not out of my appetite for literature. I immersed myself in the romances of Jane Austen and the memoirs of Jeanette Walls. Although these stories did not contain the magic of my childhood fairy tales, they were still magical in the sense that they were other peoples' lives that I could step into.

But of course, one cannot live solely through books. Throughout my school years I have developed friendships with several people. They vary in race and religion and have exposed me to each of their cultures. My friends are my eyes as they show me the world through different perspectives. With such diversity, I have witnessed the complexity of the Bharatanatyam Indian classical dance, the hip-hop styles of urban arts, and even my own Filipino culture. With each experience I grew increasingly curious and restless to explore the foreign cultures of the world.

And that is how I found a realistic dream that fulfills all of my standards--travel. While I was looking for a world to explore, I didn't realize there was one already waiting for me. Unfortunately I have not had the leisure or funds to travel; in fact I've never been out of the country. However, I have had the opportunity to enjoy the serene beaches of California and the frenzied city of New York, but both experiences are only a taste of what is out there. In the future I hope to journey through different countries full of its own history and culture, a completely different world that is full of unexpected happenings that I have never encountered before.
microcastle 2 / 5  
Nov 30, 2009   #2
"My four younger sisters are unpredictable. It is impossible for me to predict what kind of quarrel will ensue" seems repetitive. And maybe the thing about New York and California are unnecessary, since the point is to travel more.

Overall, you got a lot into a short about of words, which is really good.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 1, 2009   #3
It seems like you jump from one idea to the next... but you can fix it easily. Introduce travel in that first paragraph where you introduce reality and fantasy. What is the connection between them and travel?

In para #2, you can talk about the large family, but you must connect it to travel. Travel is going to be your major in school, right? Correct me if I am wrong.

Let travel be the theme that is upheld throughout every paragraph, and this will be a strong essay.

Or... what is the main idea of this essay as you intend it? Is it travel or something else?


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