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A realization within culture... Supplement essay for the Princeton application

anthonyxd 3 / 3 1  
Dec 29, 2015   #1
Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. 650 words.

This is a supplement essay for the Princeton application. May I please get all types of constructive feedback. Do I need to add or delete words???

Thank you for time :)

"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

Every pressure from Hell to Heaven fell on me. Crushed. Devastated. I was exhausted form the constant tribulations, but I knew they were far from ending. I got up from from my kneeling position, tears streaming down my face. For the first time in fourteen years I felt the plethora of constrained emotion gush out of my eyeballs.

"No more. No more Anthony. The time has come where you must adapt to your environment or you will face the other side of natural selection." I had said to myself.

The miserable year was finally coming to end. I could not wait for a new year cleanse.

Early in the year, my father had innocently gotten arrested. Another of those Misunderstandings that leaves families surviving off of food stamps during times of depression. To add to my misery my mother had just gone off to the hospital to get stones from her stomach removed, right after I had finally come home from a severe liver operation.

I could have stayed home and used current circumstances as a valid excuse to miss school, but I decided to go. I have had perfect attendance since kindergarten and I was not going to ruin it. Besides I would not give into the internal pain I felt and I could not miss chemistry; we were going to perform the Iodine Clock Reaction Lab. I am passionate about chemistry, it helps calm me down. I had strong hope that everything would reconstruct itself on New Year. But before that could occur, pain and stress, twins, were secretly working together and chipping away at my sanity.

Was I in depression? "No. I am a man, I do not get depressed." I said to myself.

A few weeks later, after finals. After my parents had returned home, I could not bare with my feelings. All of a sudden I stop, I feel like as if lightning had jolted every bone in my bone. I realize that I am paralyzed, head to toe. Silence. When I am released from the tight grip of the devil, I get the solution to my problem. I know exactly what I had to do.

Calming down from my altered state, I closed my eyes once more, and strapped off my Macho armor. The armor that had been culturally stitched to my spirit when I was three. I love my Mexican culture and would preserve every aspect of it except for gender roles. I felt like I could breath again. I felt free and alive. My mind felt liberated.

I do not believe that I should be destined to work in the fields, hold back my thoughts or emotions because it is not Macho or put my head down when humiliated. I want to be free, make my own decisions, fall and get up on my own, and learn form my own mistakes. I believe there a whole world of colorful explosions awaits my presence. Awaiting to be rediscovered and reinvented by a new generation of thrill-seeking individuals that are willing to experiment with fresh ideas. I have hope in the future, hope in my family, hope in myself. I have matured.

With my ideology and Princeton's unique preceptorial system and freshmen seminars, I am certain that I would be able to obtain the sensation of intellectual freedom I aspire. At Princeton, the active learning environment will challenge my claims the art of critical thinking. Princeton would provide me an atmosphere where I can continue to developing my voice.With all the qualities of Princeton, I plan to conduct research alongside my professors on the chemistry of Diabetes, environmental phenomenon, petroleum, and chemicals found in our everyday components, where I am sure that I could give Princeton a healthful quality. I would like to be a Tiger; an individual that combines fun, extracurricular activities, and academics into one deeply cherished symbol- Princeton.
anfernee 6 / 19 13  
Dec 29, 2015   #2
Hi Anthony. I admire your excellent writing skills! You successfully show how you pass through the difficulties and become a stronger man. But I think the last paragraph, though you tend to relate your experience to Princeton, seems an abrupt ending. Since you have answered the prompt well, I don't think it is necessary to talk about Princeton, since I am sure there will be another prompt to ask you to do so. It is my personal opinion, and I believe you have your own approach towards this essay.

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