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Reason of becoming a Hokie - I love everything about it. Application essay for Virginia Tech


KrishKoirala 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2016   #1
VT #1

What are the top five reasons you want to be a Hokie?

As soon as I got bombarded by the name "Virginia Tech" during my college research, I got a different vibe. More research, videos, reviews and articles made me feel that this is where I belong to. From wandering in the duck pond, cheering for great Hookie's game, wearing the Tee painted with eye-catching Hokie colors of burnt orange and Chicago maroon to being notable alumni and serve the world, I want to be a Hokie. These are only a small part of Viginia Tech. Moreover I want to be a Hokie for following reasons.

First of all, at Viginia Tech, students receive the firsthand instruction by award winning faculty. For a student like me, who is passionate about computers, it would be a great experience to learn from the professors who have helped to define today's computer industry.

I want to be Hokie because "Once a Hokie, always a Hokie". Similarly, great culture among students who share the Hokie spirit is unmatchable. It would make my life meaningful being one of the Hokies with unison spirit of serving the world.

Furthermore, unlike other universities, Virginia tech has the amazing number of clubs and great athletics where I could explore myself, expand my horizon, and go hand in hand with balanced school and social life.

Virginia Tech is situated in the incorporated town of Blacksburg with spectacular places to travel and less distraction unlike the urban setting universities; being a Hokie, I could live a wonderful stress-free student life there.

Finally, what would be great for a student (with a major based on research) to study in the No. 1 research institution in the Commonwealth of Virginia. As a hokie, I would get more opportunities for undergraduate research unlike other expensive universities.

In conclusion, I love everything about being Hokie.

One at a time.
realtalk 2 / 15 5  
Dec 20, 2016   #2
@KrishKoirala
Virginia Tech has a number of great athletics~

spectacular places to travel to

unlike other universities in urban settings

award-winning

more opportunities for undergraduate research compared to those attending other expensive universities

it would be great for a student to~

The first paragraph sounds a bit maudlin, so you could shorten that part and get to the point.

The conclusion is too weak; try to provide reasons that Virginia Tech needs to select you.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 20, 2016   #3
Krishna, let's get something straight here. You cannot make vague pronouncements such as "award winning faculty" in an essay like this. Where did you get the information to make that claim? What makes you say that? Have you already experienced being taught by their professors? Such a claim can only be made by someone who has already had the Hokie professor experience.

You can't just say "Once a Hokie, always a Hokie". You are not making a valid claim here. Your explanation is so vague that it doesn't make any sense to the reader. This sentiment can only be made by one of two people. The first is the person who has spent some time studying Virginia Tech. The second, is a legacy student, which means that his mother of his father is a graduate of the university so he decided to attend the university because of his bloodline.

What clubs and organizations would you want to join? Be specific. You need to convince the reviewer that you are excited about this aspect of student life at the university by presenting your choices for clubs and organizations to join.

At this point, I really don't feel like you know the university at all. These comments just sound like you did a cut and paste job from the comments of students and online blogs. There is no clear reference to a familiarity between you and the university. You have a superficial, if not generic, reference point for all your 5 reasons, which makes this a very weak response essay to present. I would try to beef up the information with specifics before I decide on a final copy of this essay.


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