This is my "why Rice?" essay. I think it still needs improving. Could you please give me some suggestions? Thanks in advance.
reasons for rice
There are many reasons for me to choose Rice University, among which the most important ones are as follows. First of all, Rice has a different point of view on undergraduate education from other universities. Its high undergraduate student-to-faculty ratio and median class size ensure personal teaching and learning, in that each student can join the discussion and get the opportunity of face-to-face talking with professors in class. In addition, campus life in Rice is very joyful. As Rice does not prefer elitism, organizations such as sorority and fraternity are forbidden. Students keep intimate relationship with each other and recreational activities are usually held in the campus all the year round so that I can enjoy myself learning and living in Rice. High level of accommodation can make me very comfortable. Moreover, Rice owns a great geographical position-Houston. As a faithful fan of Houston Rockets, I could not help imagining myself watching Rockets' performance in the Toyota Center.I think some of your points could have been more specific. You can try to make it more personal, and highlight some of the characteristics that make Rice REALLY stand out. For example,
"Its high undergraduate student-to-faculty ratio and median class size ensure personal teaching and learning, in that each student can join the discussion and get the opportunity of face-to-face talking with professors in class."
"In addition, campus life in Rice is very joyful"
"High level of accommodation can make me very comfortable"
these don't really make Rice seem to "have a different point of view from other universities" as you wrote, because those descriptions can fit most LACs. Avoid general (and empty) words like "joyful". The approach is good but elaborate more about the distinctions, things that make Rice special for you. Your last point about Houston is good.
I may be a little harsh, and I'm not that good of a writer anyway, so consider my suggestions but don't take them too seriously, I could be wrong :D
batdoi, thanks for the great contribution!
Kobe24, Instead of writing "are as follows," prepare the reader for what is to come:
There are many reasons for me to choose Rice University, among which the most important include the following: student-to-faculty ratio, sensible campus life, and location. Rice has a different point of view on undergraduate education from other universities.
The three points you cover are great, and I saw no errors! :)
batdoi & kevin, lots of thanks for your great suggestions! I accept them as they are very important for me.
your points for liking rice are very good but you need to make it more personal but at the same time keeping it grammatically correct
although it is just a why ___ college question you still need to act as if you're talking to the school and that the only place you want/need to be is Rice and any other why ___ college prompt you answer
