I am a Vietnamese student, I really need help and advice on my UC college essay. Thanks.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I have experienced a very unfortunate time of my life. However, it turned out that the failing I have got from that experience has opened a new path which, surprisingly, led me to discover the very inner quality of mine: to never give up
That was the time when I received my second TOEFL score. After having taken the TOEFL test for the first time, a year later I decided to take it one more time since I was not satisfied with that score. However, I took it for granted so much that I almost thought that my score could never be low. In other words, I was so self-confident that I could never imagine and think about the worst possibility. After taking it, I was not the only one who believed that my scores would be high. In fact, my family, my friends and my teachers - the grateful people who always confide and believe in me - had just the same thought. I was looking forward to the scores so much, I even pictured myself seeing my dream scores and how proud and happy I would feel when I saw it. Nevertheless, I could never believe what I saw when the scores were available: I got ONE point higher than the first scores. ONE point only. I was extremely aghast. In a moment, I did not know what to do and I even thought of hiding this from my parents and everyone else. Then, I started to cry.
Things got even worse when I decided to tell my parents about my scores and their reactions were not surprising to me. I could see the disappointed eyes of my father and feel the silence of my mother. They did not complain or scold, they were just unspoken.
But something came across. Something on my mind that made me ask myself: Why crying? Is it actually going to help? And then I found out that it was not the last chance. I still have many chances to retake it, it was just a matter of time and money. Why not taking it again and trying my best this time? Suddenly, I stopped thinking pessimistically and asked my parents for money to retake it. My father was reluctant at first because he was afraid I would not have made any changes. However, he approved of the idea and the situation was improving since then. One month later, I did the test successfully and the scores - not to my surprise- were much better than the previous'.
This experience has made me realize the importance of tenacity and optimism: Not only does it help people to believe in themselves but it also encourages them to keep on trying. As Steve Jobs once said: 'sometimes, life is gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith'. When I saw those words from that great inventor, I knew I was inspired, by not only the words but also, by my own self failure.
Some people often say this,' Tests do not evaluate a person's skills precisely'. For some reasons, I agree that sometimes a person's ability to perform any task is not totally and accurately judged through any kind of tests. However, I believe it does show how good of a progress that person has made. And if the progress that I made during that one month counts, undoubtedly I should be proud of myself to ascertain that I can contribute to more profound projects in the near future.
This a very well-constructed essay. It flows very well.
However, according to some UC personal statement tips, it is not wise to use quotations because they want to know your thoughts and words, not someone else's.
Besides that, i like the essay x]
