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Redefining Beauty - Emory Supplement


johnjr121 4 / 8  
Dec 30, 2015   #1
Prompt: In the spirit of Emory's tradition of courageous inquiry, what question do you want to help answer and why? (500 word limit)

Notes: Hey! I'd appreciate it if anyone could take a look over my essay, help me correct it, help me make it better, etc. THANKS ALOT! Feel free to slaughter my essay!

A couple months ago I was appalled to find my niece, Anaya, crying in her room. I rushed to her aid and immediately began to ask her what was wrong. She parted her lips to speak but her voice was overwhelmed by her cries. She took a moment to calm herself and then finally she asked me, " Uncle Johnny, why are white girls prettier?" I was overwhelmed by pity and my heart sank as I began to search for an explanation. Usually, I always have an answer for her questions, but as I searched for words to assure her of her beauty, I quickly found that there were none. How could I encourage her to be proud of her dark skin when white standards of beauty dominate the media? How could I convince her that she is beautiful when beauty doesn't look like her? It was at this moment that I realized that beauty needed to be redefined.

In its current state, beauty does not represent nonwhites. As a result of this, we often take up practices such as straightening our hair, narrowing our noses and lightening our skin to fit in. Good hair has become a colloquial phrase in the African-American community to describe those who have hair that resembles that of whites. While many may see these things as harmless, I believe them to be the garments that clothe self-hatred. All of these stigmas I am very familiar with as I have experienced them all firsthand. For this reason, I want to find a solution to this problem that plagues our communities.

I know that Emory can help me in my efforts to solve this problem. Emory provides countless opportunities that I plan on taking advantage of such Scholarly Inquiry and Research at Emory grant. As these issues are complex, it would require sophisticated research to find adequate solutions. Emory's dedication to meaningful research and inquiry would aid me in my search for a solution. Additionally, I plan to take advantage of the school's Multicultural Emory programs (ME). Through ME I will be able to engage in thoughtful discussion with peers who have experienced similar problems and work towards a solution. I know that at Emory I will be able to help redefine beauty.

I realize that Emory will be an incredibly challenging journey, but the opportunities and the doors that Emory will open for me are well worth the challenge. I firmly believe that Emory's devotion to inquiry will provide me with the platform to dismantle the discriminatory standards of beauty.
mzhang 2 / 9 2  
Dec 30, 2015   #2
You do a great job of fully answering the question and giving specific ways Emory will help you find the answer. My only suggestion regards the last sentence of your second to last paragraph: "I know that at Emory I will be able to help redefine beauty.". "Redefine beauty" is kind of broad, so perhaps focusing specifically like on media (as you mentioned before) or for the Emory community. Changing the perception of beauty is a huge task, and it's good to show that you have a specific starting point. The broadness also loses some of your main points on the question you chose to pose so maybe changing it to: "I know that at Emory I will be able to help change the standards of beauty " or "...who is considered beautiful." Just some things things to think about, good job and good luck!


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