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A Reed education will transform me into a more erudite person - Why Reed Essay

JYKHSH 2 / 1  
Jan 10, 2015   #1
Please tell me what you think!!! I would love any suggestions/criticisms! Thanks in Advance!

When I moved to the United States, the education system here impressed me. While students in Korea take notes and listen to their teachers' lectures, the students in my high school were regularly encouraged to share their opinions in class discussions. Receiving a good education at my school, I plan to give back to the community all that I gain after I graduate from college. I plan to double major in environmental science and physics. And I want to make people in both Korea and the United States aware of the many future environmental issues that may occur due to future threats on our natural resources. Because most natural resources are limited and many countries have begun to use more and more natural resources for their economic development, protecting and preserving our environment is the area where someone's knowledge and ideas will be needed the most.

While adapting to the new teaching style in different area, I think the education at my school prepared me well for Reed. If I hadn't come to America and experienced its education, I suspect it would be very difficult to adapt to a Reed environment because I wouldn't be ready to freely express my opinions without hesitation. On the other hand, applying and attending to Reed will be another big jump for me. Reed's low student-to-teacher ratio will not only help me to build closer relationship with my professors, but also inspire me to engage in conference-style lectures in a more active discussion-based environment.

Besides my interest in environmental studies, Reed's unorthodox way of educating its students has made me want to attend. It is crucial for me to think outside of the box. Even though many environmental experts have come up with many creative solutions, the threat to our natural resources still exists. This is the primary reason why I would like to study at Reed; I have a belief that a Reed education will transform me into a more imaginative person. Reed's rigorous and creative courses that I have not experienced in high school will help me to push and challenge myself to explore new things and have wider views on the world--and instill confidence in myself that I can be successful during my future career and make a difference in the world. A Reed education will not only transform me into a more erudite person, but also will help me to fill a gap as I commit myself to responsible stewardship of the wider world.
jbuddenberg 2 / 3  
Jan 10, 2015   #2
You're on the right way I think. But I see one problem: You could simply crop out the Reed name and insert any random liberal arts school in the U.S.! Your approach to the essay is the right one; but try to elaborate on special things you will ONLY be offered at Reed. Go to their Wikipedia and find anything that fits to what you want to accomplish, shorten a passage, put in the info from Wikipedia instead, make it sound nice and you'll be good to go.
aveiz100 3 / 4 2  
Jan 10, 2015   #3
I agree with jbuddenberg that you need to focus more on Reed and what it has to offer than just simply repeating the name Reed all the time. Try using more pronouns when referring to Reed, like "the school", etc.
jbuddenberg 2 / 3  
Jan 13, 2015   #4
JYKHSH - if you can't seem to come up with ways to edit the passage, shoot me a PM and I will make sure to take a look at it. Good Luck!

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