Why Reed? Rhythm and High Hands

Thank you all for help in advance!

When I was little my uncle remarked to my mother that "[Paul] got rhythm." When I was young, this rhythm expressed itself through dancing in my highchair or drumming on the counter. In middle school I started performing in musical theater. In high school I took up drumming, and became involved in the choral arts. Throughout my life my internal rhythm has guided me in more than musical pursuits. When I enjoy a person, place, or experience I have a certain sense that everyone is moving in perfect concert with each other, a delicate dance that only I am able to witness. To put it even more abstractly, I "gel" with the person, place or experience. My short exposure to Reed imbued in me a stronger sense of "gel" than anything I have felt since I first stepped onto the stage in the 3rd grade. Not only do the more trivial aspects of Reed, such as location and size fit perfectly with my expectation of what a college should be, but the far more important and less tangible things come together to me in a way I have not seen at any other college or university. At other colleges I have visited the students seem more intent on getting drunk than engaging in the subject matter. When I sat in on classes pupils were listless, uninvolved, and disengaged. Witnessing these bright, high scoring students toss their college experience away made my stomach turn. My experience could not have been more different at Reed. Even though I came in the summer, the few students I observed on the campus were all engaged in something. Whether it be Ultimate Frisbee, or a discussion (read: argument) upon the topic of Pavlovian ethics (seriously) the students clearly cared about whatever they were doing, even during their time off. Furthermore, judging by tales of fellow classmates that have had the opportunity to overnight at Reed, as well as current Reedies this pervasive excitement consumes all aspects of college life, including the classroom. To me, this is nothing less than revolutionary. All my life I have wanted to be surrounded by those that care about the ingesting and synthesizing of information as much as I do. I have never desired to be the one that raises a hand most often, but I also have never been willing to learn any less than I wanted to. Thus, my hand was raised far beyond the threshold of annoyance of my fellow classmates. For this, I was named names. Brownose, knowitall, etc. I'm sure you have heard many of these as well. At Reed, however, questions were treated as they should be: the gateway to knowledge. I felt like raising my hand in a classroom setting would garner me positive, rather than negative attention. I felt as though I would be surrounded by those who shared the same passion for learning that I feel. I felt as though I belonged. I am now certain that, if I have earned the opportunity to attend Reed, I will be surrounded by the most insightful, dweeby, nerdy, cool, and intellectually sophisticated young people found on any college campus in the United States. I can only hope I would have an opportunity to raise my own hand skyward, even if it would be difficult to see, surrounded by a sea of others.

When I enjoy a person, place, or experience I...
^^Here the word "like" looks better.


I don't know if this is a good reason. It would be better if you make comparisons based only on the positive aspects of various colleges, like, the course structure, faculty, etc.


I'd use "called" in place of the highlighted word.


This is redundant. The preceding sentence makes that point clear.

I like your first four sentences. They reminded me of the movie "August Rush."
However, I'm not sure if the reasons you have given for attending Reed are compelling enough. For instance, if you replace Reed with the name of any other college, the essay will still sound coherent -- and that is a problem.

Which discipline are you going to take up at Reed? Talk about that; explain how it is different that other colleges.
What profession would you like to join after you graduate? Will studying at Reed give you a better platform to pursue your goals?

I think it is better without "that"
When I was little my uncle remarked to my mother, that "[Paul] got rhythm."

When I enjoy a person, place, or experience I have a certain sense that everyone is moving in perfect concert with each other, a delicate dance that only I am able to witness. To put it even more abstractly, I "gel" with the person, place or experience.--- this is excellent. I think you should add a thesis statement right after this sentence and then END the first paragraph. Let a new para begin when you discuss the college.

This is very good!