'to refine my computer science skill' - Cornell arts and sciences- comp sci major

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (500 words)

High pitch shrieks blast through my parents' home office. Loud beeps and buzzing join the shrieks to form a head-ache inducing racket. For three minutes, I endure the hellish symphony's assault on my seven year old ears. Finally, "Success!" flashes before me in size 18 bolded Ariel font. My reward for passing this trial, a white screen that covers my computer monitor. Splashes of blue and black form at the top of the screen and expand into shapes and pictures. Three more minutes of waiting and I am sitting face to face with the AOL homepage. The world was at my fingertips. With only a few key strokes, I could access a wealth of information greater than any library. Another combination of keys and I could communicate with someone on the other side of the world at speeds that would make divine Hermes look inefficient. Yet another and I could delve in to fantastical world full of magic and monsters. The power and possibilities of computers memorized me as a child and still do as a teenager.

I knew entering high school that I wanted to take my childhood fascination with computers and create a career. I took classes in everything from multimedia design to computer network working, trying to find my niche in the massive world of computing. I found it my junior year when I took my first computer science class. Computer science was the prefect equilibrium between math and logic for my mind to flourish. Programming problems felt like solving a puzzle and required true intuition. There were no formulas I could plug information into and get the answer. Outside a few basic operations, I had to create everything from scratch to solve a problem. This meant solving problem required a true understanding of how a computer accepts and processes information. But with "a brain that works like a CPU already" -as my teacher described me- this understanding came naturally and code flowed seamless from my thoughts onto the computer screen.

Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences is the perfect place me for to refine my computer science skill. Here I would be able to study under not only the greatest minds in computing but also actual innovators working on groundbreaking research. Through Independent Research or a project-based class such as Robot Learning, I would be able to do my own research and solve a real problem facing the world of computing while still an undergraduate. However, Cornell truly differentiates itself from other top research universities with its expanse of course offerings beyond technical knowledge of computing. Cornell's Department of Information Systems and Department of Technology and Science Studies offer a unique view at computing through a social standpoint and the eyes of the user. Cornell Abroad also offers me a chance to experience a different culture with a different exposure technology and see how that affects the culture's view of it. Cornell's college of Arts and Sciences offers me a unique education that would make me a well-rounded computer scientist.

hey any comments or errors you catch would be awesome. my biggest worry is the last paragraph
will return favor

This is a great essay! Here are just a few suggestions:

-in the first paragraph, you kind of awkwardly change tenses
-memorized -> mesmerized
-i knew, upon entering high school, ...
-Programming problems were like solving a puzzle and required true intuition; there were no formulas I could just plug information into and get the answer.

-...code flowed seamlesslly

Could you help me with my Rice essay as well? :)

Wow!!! I really like your essay... it's really good. it's organized, well-written. :D
I will really appretiate if you help me with my essay.