Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (250-500 words)
Growing up in a background where scores represent everything, I set my life goal to get the best score in order to become the role model student in teacher's eyes. However, when the school committee announced that the first boys' basketball game would be held in my high school, the idea of organizing a cheerleading team was like a spark suddenly crossed my mind. Clearly was I aware that the sports have nothing to do with test score, but a strong impulse deeply in my heart surged, struggling with my original values of "role model" and rushing to break the chains.
Facing the separation, I would create a chance for us to involve in the game for the last time at which we were together. Even if such an action might destroy the recognition I've built for long, I would put my full efforts to earning such opportunity. When I proposed to the school board for permission, hardly can they believe I am the one who suggested such a seemingly ridiculous idea. In their astonishing eyes, I saw confusions and disappointment. Just at the moment, it seemed like I found another value, the value weighted by myself, not by others.
My approval was rejected for cheerleading is energy-taken, but giving up is never an option in my mind. In order to win gain more support, I plotted planed a series of activities: hosting an arousing meeting in the entire class, asking classmates for donation, sending questionnaire to view classmates' attitude, nailing down the final form of the cheerleaders...During entire process, I was driven by the irresistible strength aroused from my heart. Consequently, the proposal team expanded to the entire class. Moved by our insistence, teachers permitted my proposal.
Eventually, the big day was here. Hearing the girls screaming, singing, and cheering, boys played the game even more intensely. When the final scores came up from the referee, I burst into tears of joy and fulfillment. Instantly, I realized what my initial stimulation is. Doing cheerleading is my original thought, a thought endowing me with passion. And the passion gave me power and strength and held me throughout the difficult period. The entire process was not about what others told me, oppositely, was about what I really desire. This time, I value myself as an individual, not as a typical stereotype; my confidence came from my own achievement, not from other's eyes. I don't need to prove myself to anyone anymore because I was clearly aware that I had grown up as an individual person with independence mind.
Since the sensational effect of our cheerleading team, basketball games are held every spring of the year, and a cheerleading team was officially preserved as a sport. As for me, following my heart, with the desire to seek myself, I decided to study abroad as a foreign exchange student in Colorado, US and began a new chapter of my life. At the local high school, I chose cheerleading as my extracurricular sport. If I didn't tried I wouldn't know that what I learned from forming a cheerleading is exactly fitting for America. The perseverance makes me not afraid of walking for miles to the bus station in order to get to school attending practice, the creativity droves me to do something special for my mother while she flight all the way to Colorado visit during her birthday, the leadership enabled me to persuade the coach and all the other teammates to collaborate with me. And, the value posited me as a local member instead of a foreigner. From the little girl who used to depend on others to give her confidence to the young women who will set herself actively and bend into a new culture, I have really grown and mature. Cheerleading might not be my profession, but the spirits it endowed will be the treasure of my whole life.
Please give me some advice about:
1.grammar mistakes
2.cut down letters
3. Was the content fulfill?
Be ruthless, thx!
