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As I relax, the chair becomes my vehicle - The library; an ideal space in an imperfect world


MuazKedir 1 / 2  
Dec 24, 2014   #1
Please make some comments on this essay, also comment on the content if you can. Thank You

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

I walk fifteen minutes from my school and reach the community library. Just when I walk in I see the reception desk on my left and the checkout station in front of me. To the farthest left is the juvenile and children's section, to my right is the adult and young adult's section. I turn right towards the young adult section. Just when I get there I see tables with orange signs saying reserved for teens only. Then I turn right again where there is a secluded seat. From left, front, and back there are book shelves, and from the right their are computers. I settle in the chair and relax for a while before I start doing work.

As I relax, the chair becomes my vehicle. I travel to a world secluded from all the troubles of the earth, a world of peace and relaxation. When I get there, there exists no one except me. As I travel through the world I see pieces of my day lying and scattered around. I try to piece them together, but fail miserably. I do so not because I am bad at puzzles, but because when the pieces come together they make what is not of this world, stress and exhaustion. This world may contain pieces of my real life, but they are just that- pieces that are the smallest parts of my day in which I have experienced peace and relaxation.

In a world where only one person exist there is no need for order, law, or responsibility. Even though this world exists for maximum twenty minutes it is the highlight of my day because it is the time where I am completely alone. A time and a world that only concern me.

I feel a heavy burden as my work and responsibility drive me out from this wondrous world. When I arrive into the real world I see that there is no one in the teen section except me. I see that this space is much like my perfect world. An ideal space in an imperfect world. The library, specifically this section was all surrounded by book shelves. This space is in some ways better than my perfect world because it not only is peaceful, but also real. In addition, in this space with peace comes knowledge. I flip open one or two non fiction books, and read for a couple of minutes. This moment much like my relaxation is short lived. I stopped reading, got up from my seat and headed to the computers to start work.

As I start my work I want nothing more than to go back to the seat and be plunged into my own world, I want nothing more than to be excluded not just from the world, but from the sadness I feel. However, I know in this world the only way I can be relaxed and peaceful is if I embrace and accept the world. To be secluded can only give me a short-term relief. For my wondrous world to exist my real world has to exist. For the secluded chair to exist the real world has to exist. Without my real world I cannot send new pieces to my ideal world. When the clock strikes eight I leave the library, hoping that I would be back soon. Just as the door open I see the bare parking lot except for the one car. I see that my aunt is here to pick me up. I hop in the car, and we head home.

esslayer 3 / 7  
Dec 25, 2014   #2
I feel a heavy burden as my work and responsibility drive me out from this wondrous world. When I arrive into the real world I see that there is no one in the teen section except me. I see that this space is much like my perfect world. An ideal space in an imperfect world. The library, specifically this section was all surrounded by book shelves. This space is in some ways better than my perfect world because it not only is peaceful, but also real. In addition, in this space with peace comes knowledge. I flip open one or two non fiction books, and read for a couple of minutes. This moment much like my relaxation is short lived. I stopped reading, got up from my seat and headed to the computers to start work.

You were writing in present tense but here you switched to past tense. I think this is not right.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 26, 2014   #3
Muhammad is right, you have got your tenses mixed up. So you need to sort that out. Either you speak solely in present or past tense. I suggest revising the essay to present the information in past tense because that is how the essay prompt is designed. You have to recall the experience and explain the contentment that you feel. At the moment, the essay presents both sides of your reasons for feeling content in the library. That is a very good way of approaching this essay as it presents a balanced look at the reasons behind your contentment. There is no right or wrong way of answering this essay prompt. The method that you chose is quite creative and engaging :-)


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