hey guys, this is my short answer, please provide feedback!!
"Hold on." I whispered when I was climbing the mountain near my residential district. Finally, I stepped on the peak. At that moment, I let the breeze dry my sweat and the views of my residential area capture my eyes.
Every weekend, I spend about 2 hours climbing the nearby mountain with my parents. The path is long, about 2 miles; the slope is steep, about 30 degrees. The process is tiring but I can gain a lot. While climbing the mountain, I tell my parents what I have done during the week and they share similar experiences with me, so we can know each other better. With wind blowing, I release all my stress and unhappiness, and get ready for the following week. Besides, I have learned to be perseverant and patient because I figured out that one must expend before getting something, just like before I get to the peak, I have to climb a long way and spend much energy.
The next weekend is coming. The next reunion with the mountain is coming.
Thanks in advance~ Any kind of feedback is welcomed.
I like you essay! It's intriguing in the beginning and really attracts people to continue reading!
And i think you may strenghten your second paragraph. The people who read this must be really interested in knowing what qualities you can show in your liking for climbing! You must be strong, insistent, and fearless in this! Maybe you can be more vivid in describing a time when you face some problems or dangers in climbing. How your family and you jointly make it through, or how yourself challenge the difficulty and succeed - i think a elaborated scene can be more attractive to readers!
Just a few suggestions! Hope can be helpful!
I really appreciate it that you like my short answer! :D Your suggestion really helps me a lot. Thx sooooo much~~
Thanks for your advice~ emm, now this short answer seems better.
Good essay, you really demonstrate your character:
- Taking new challenges.
- Hard working.
- Enjoying valuable times with parents.
I think you will get good attentions, please check mine as well if you have time. Thanks
Thank you. You really inspired me.
