Prompt: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals
An engineer's work can be found in even the most infinitesimal aspects of our lives. Their work ranges anywhere from printing the dictionaries that define an Engineer to constructing colossal buildings. As a result, the various disciplines of engineering offer a myriad of opportunities through which to contribute to society, an opportunity I hope to make full use of. A primary concern for me and many engineers today is the rising prevalence of Global Warming and its caustic effects on society. To help alleviate this plague on our environment, Engineers around the world are developing alternative fuels, more efficient buildings and automobiles, and etc. In a recent science journal, I read about a group of various different engineers who have come together to build a revolutionary underwater windmill called Deep Green. These new windmills use water's high density to create 800 times more energy than regular windmills spinning at the same speed. This has shown me that engineering is a group effort that requires the contribution of many, and with this contribution the possibilities are endless. Breakthroughs like this have been instrumental in inspiring me to follow through with my passion of being an Engineer and trying to engineer something for society to advance and to help put a stop to Global Warming and its implications. I am confident that the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign is the perfect institution for me to acquire the tools I need to make a difference in the fight against Global Warming.
Concerns:
- Does this essay work, because its a bit recycled from another essay, but by changing some parts, I think it still answers this prompt pretty good.
- Does it talk about my professional goals?
- If it sucks (which it might considering it took me like an hour), I could still talk about my academic intrests like: Physics, Calculus, creating a Physics Club at school, studying Computer Science, Online Engineering and CompSci courses from Stanford and MIT, etc. So if this sounds better, please let me know and I can switch it.
- Anything else, please be critical. Thanks a lot.
My main thing was that you capitalized a lot of words you didn't need to - I know it's important, but that's clear without putting it in capital letters. There were also a few grammar mistakes with plurals/singulars. Your organization/overall topic was pretty good, but yeah, you might want to focus a bit more on what exactly you hope to do as an engineer rather than giving so many random examples of engineers' work. Good luck!
Go more in-depth on why Global Warming's caustic effects worry you (talk about some of the problems) and tell how these effects have inspired you to what you hope to do as an engineer. In doing so, you should include your academic interests and how they will help you as an engineer. And if possible, at the end, tell what program would enable you to do it :)
I think Adventuress also pointed out all your grammatical errors
