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"I remember my trip to India" - UC Prompt- personal Development

Nehalp92 1 / 1  
Nov 24, 2010   #1
Im sorry i am not that best writer so feel free to leave feedback

Describe a significant moment, achievement or dilemma you have faced and its impact on your spiritual, personal or ethical development.

There were many impacting experiences which shaped me into the character I am now. Reflecting upon the many different impacting encounters I had throughout my life, I remember my trip to India which seemed to have the greatest impact on me personally. Two years back, my family and I took a one month vacation to my hometown in India. Not having visited India for over 15 years, I was quite interested and wanted to see what new things were going on. My thoughts of Indian life were the same of an American life: civilized. I expected people living in developed housing complexes, driving around sufficient vehicles, and having a proper education opportunity. However, as I landed and got off the plane, I found my self to be mistaken. I saw many undeveloped housing complexes and people living in rather underprivileged conditions. What surprised me was when I met my distant cousin, who was 18 years old, one year older than me. I was surprised at the fact that he was an operator of a food cart which served small variety of India food. I was stunned at the time and dedication this young teenager was putting into helping support his family. When I asked him if he was going to school, he replied no, he had dropped out a while ago to join the family business and help support his family. Talking to my cousin's parents, I was shocked to hear how they wished they raised their son up in America. They expanded by telling me of how different living conditions and education opportunities would be than in the current circumstances they were living in.

This memorable conversation actually changed my outlook on my everyday life. I started developing further personally. I became more self-aware about myself by not taking my education as granted and not always expecting the best. As I've developed, I became familiar with failure many times but that is what motivates me to try harder and as I have seen it always pays off. Looking at my distant relatives as influence, I try to get used to the constant change in life, and always worked hard to overcome the many obstacles that may come in my way of success rather it be education problems or conjugal affairs. From this I've learned to deal with what I have and making the best of it. Trying to make the best from what I have will ultimately make a difference amongst the community and maybe even the world to help better myself but more importantly others.
grillojes 6 / 17  
Nov 24, 2010   #2
I like where you're going with this. You need to change the phrases that are bolded (for example: in the first three line you use the word "impact" too much) in order to make more sense.

Towards the end try to get more personal and explain why and how this has pushed you. Give more examples.
OP Nehalp92 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2010   #3
Thank you so much for your help. Really appreciate it and will change it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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